In a world where we are constantly “connected” to everyone all the time, we are beginning to see we aren’t really connected to very many of those people.
 

Where are the meaningful connections?

I love Sundays because they are full of connections. Yesterday, I was blessed by much-needed connection with a fellow mom. Sometimes connecting with moms of older children is just the wisdom and encouragement we need to keep encouraging our own children. Sometimes this momma journey is full of joys and sometimes it is full of struggles. Most of the time it is a little of both, but connecting with other mommas helps us keep moving forward and makes it a little easier to be who our children need us to be. This particular conversation reminded me I’m not the only momma dealing with a particular situation and gave me some resources for handling it.

Real Connections

We attend a very friendly church and I never seem to be able to connect to everyone I’d like. One thing I appreciated through the pandemic was a closer connection with the people we attended “home” church with. It’s some thing I am struggling to bring into “regular” church with me. There are so many more people to connect with.

It’s so easy to slip back into the:
“How are you?”
“Good, how are you?”
“Good. Have a good week.”
“You too.”
And move on to the next person.

However, it’s in those deeper connections that we can follow God’s instructions through Paul’s writings in

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

It’s difficult to encourage someone and build them up if you don’t know what’s going on in their life. A weekly “good” doesn’t cover it!

Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Yesterday I was blessed to hug a few necks, and have a few meaningful conversations. I know I left feeling encouraged and built up. Next, we went to lunch with a family we shared “home” church with. We’ve been missing the fellowship we had shared and our kids were missing the playtime they became used to.

I am convinced we need to teach our children to be encouragers and build others up, especially those outside of their circles. I keep being reminded that we need to not make assumptions about others, and just how easy that is to do. Did that person really mean to ignore you? Or are they bogged down with “life” and could use a friend (maybe you) to really be present for them and listen to what is going on in their life.

Don’t make assumptions about how people feel about you or think about you. So many times it is our own insecurities or our own inflated ego that has us thinking nobody likes us or everybody likes us 🙂 Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Be an encourager

Here are a few ways to encourage others:

• Look for the good deeds/actions another person does, and then let them know you noticed.
• Listen to what someone is sharing with you. Really listen (it’ll help with the other suggestions below). Remember to follow up with them too.
• Offer scripture references that apply. I have a friend I always reach out to when I’m struggling with something because I can count on her to not only direct me back to scripture but offer at least one verse as a starting point too.
• Offer to pray with and for them. It may be a little awkward if you aren’t used to praying with a friend, but I can tell you it is an amazing way to build someone up!
• Cry with them, laugh with them…
• Be present, don’t look at your phone, don’t be thinking about your “To Do” list, or lunch, just listen so that you are able to do the things above. (I’ve just realized this is very much like #2, maybe that means I really need to hear it, I’ll leave it here in case you need to hear it twice too.)

Practice, practice, practice…

The more we do these things the easier and more second nature it will become. Encouraging does not come easily to me. I am too much of a negative nelly introvert. I thank God for his grace, mercy, and patience!

Invite people to your home, share a cup of coffee, or tea, or a meal, and really get to know them. It is in these deeper connections that we can encourage others, and help ourselves grow. And, just like everything else in life, modeling it for our kids is the best way to teach them and hold ourselves accountable.

In what ways have you beeen encouraged?
How has someone built you up?
What are some of your favorite ways to encourage someone else?
Do you have an “encourager” role model?