How to feel blessed when you’re hanging on by your fingernails

A mom of 4 I was with this weekend told me she was hanging on by her fingernails. Anyone else feel that way?

It got me thinking about the “why” behind the blog. When this idea first started mulling around in my head, it was because I was a new mom for the 4th time and barely hanging on. I wanted something that reminded me of the blessings in motherhood and I wanted to encourage other mothers as well.

“Behold, children are a heritage and gift from the Lord, The fruit of the womb a reward.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:3 AMP

So much of life is driven by our subjective perspectives. Whatever you focus on is what seems biggest. So if you’re focused on the dirty diapers, the fits, the back-talking, the arguing, the never-ending messes, it’s going to feel more like you have energy sucking leeches than precious gifts.

See the blessings

One of my most basic ideas of seeing my children as the gifts they are is to make myself stop and watch them, soak in the blessing. Sometimes it’s the smile they give you. Or the sloppy wet kiss. Maybe it’s the way they treat their sibling. Or watching your spouse with them. Write it down if you need to. Say it out loud. Thank God for the gifts (children) he’s given you. Take the time to spend with your children. The dishes, dust, and dirt will always be there. But the years with our children at home won’t be. As a momma of children from 20-4 I can tell you, the days are long but the years are short.

I find myself wishing days away, but then I look at my child who made me mom and in less than a month he’ll be 18. HOW??? Then I look at my “littles” and realize my baby is 4. Some days 14 years seems like a long time to still have children at home; other days it doesn’t seem nearly long enough. (Especially the days my 4-year-old tells me who she’s going to marry when she grows up, but that’s a topic for another day.)

4-year-old picking flowers for her wedding.

She can’t grow up fast enough and I can’t slow her down.

Please share with us in the comments below, or tag us on Instagram @one.blessedmomma or Facebook @oneblessedmommacom what blessings have you seen from your kids? Let’s help encourage each other!

Embrace the crazies

No, I don’t mean your kids (but yes, embrace them 🙂). When you have this picture-perfect moment in mind, the perfect day at the park, the way your kids will sit down and play well together, a nice quiet meal, etc it generally doesn’t work that way. Embrace the season you’re in right now. Check your expectations.

If you have a two-year-old there’s probably going to be a mess at dinner time. If you have more than one child they probably are going to have at least one disagreement while playing. If you’re anything like me, you forgot to check the weather before heading to the park, and the rain may find you. So get a dog to clean up after the 2-yr-old 😉, help your children learn how to work through disagreements so you don’t have to play referee, and teach your kids to dance in the rain (or check the weather).

Friday night I wanted a date with my husband. I had been at home all week with not only our children but two more as well. The prior weekend we had 30 people in our home. I just wanted time with the guy I married and decided to do this parenting thing with.

He felt like he needed to work. I needed to pick some things up at a store. One of my kids wanted to go shopping with money that’s burning a hole in his pocket, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a date with me. I just wanted a quiet evening! But 3 other kids caught wind of this outing and decided they needed to go too. Dad decided the work could wait and went with us.

So we called it family date night. It wasn’t at all what I was wanting, but once I let go of that and embraced this time with 4 of my kids and my husband it was a fun evening!

Our Anniversary date with 5 kids.

Love on the gifts

A couple of months ago I had someone text me a list of things about me that were lovely. I have to admit I have pulled it back up more than a few times. There is also an idea floating around internet land about putting a sticky note on your kids’ door every day in February with something new you love about them.

You are probably better than me at loving those you love. I find the idea of telling people what I love and appreciate about them daunting. It’s a skill I need to develop. Maybe the person you love doesn’t need words of affirmation.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages. He has a quiz you can take to find out what yours is, a quiz for teens, and a quiz you can take for your child. Use this quiz to guide you in loving your kiddos so they understand what you’re saying.

Loved children are happier children. Just like when we feel loved we are happier people. Happier children are easier to get along with and easier to see as blessings 🙂 it’s a win-win.

How do you keep hanging on when you’re only hanging on by fingernails? Have you gone from surviving to thriving? What helped you?

I am one blessed momma!

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family