Can you ask for help?

Is asking for help something you often do? Is it easy for you? If so, good job! You are among the few.

For many of us, asking for help is difficult and only turned to as a last resort once all other options are exhausted. I can think of many times I have just pushed through and ended up with a less-than-satisfactory outcome, all because I didn’t want to admit I needed assistance.

The scripture DOES speak highly of perseverance. However, we are told to be dependent on God and our fellow believers at the same time. In other words, don’t plow blindly through a situation; ask for guidance, help, and wisdom.

I have thought of a few ways we can and should, be reaching out for help.

Husbands

If you’re like me, you don’t mind or feel too guilty to ask your husband for help. My most significant hang-up is that I expect him to just know what I need or want help with without asking. It’s obvious, right?? Well, not always. Honestly, not even usually. I would even go so far as to say seldom is it obvious. Men and women just think differently.

Let me create a scenario that may or may not come from my own experience. 🤪

It’s five o’clock in the afternoon-the witching hour for many young children. You have cooked, cleaned, folded, re-cleaned, washed faces, wiped butts and counters, and probably many, many other things that day. You are currently trying to nurse a screaming baby while changing a toddler’s diaper at the same time as refereeing an argument between two of your older kids, all while attempting to answer a question from your amazingly inquisitive daughter about why spiders are not insects (because your original answer of, “insects have three-part bodies and only six legs while spiders have eight legs. They are called arachnids.” only provokes a “duh” look and the statement, “Mom, I already knew that, but why???)

You started dinner early, thinking yourself accomplished- only to realize the half-baked biscuits in the oven don’t have any shortening in them. While pondering if dumping melted butter on cooked biscuits will make it all even out somehow (it doesn’t), the soup you have simmering in your new, gorgeous Pioneer Woman dutch oven starts boiling over because someone turned the burner up to high-although “no one” did it.

At the exact moment you are feeling like you are going to follow the soup’s example and boil over, your husband walks through the front door. You’re thinking, “Yes! Help has arrived!” In your mind, it should be obvious what you need, what the kids need, what everyone needs. He jumps in and turns the burner off under the soup. Then, seeing that dinner is almost ready, he says, “Why don’t we call your brothers and have them over for supper?” In his mind, you would LOVE to visit with your family. In your mind, you can’t imagine having ANYONE over for the next 15 years!

Sound familiar? If you answered yes, give him some grace, we just think differently from our husbands.

Kids

Kids are competent helpers. I have written many times about not hesitating to enlist the help of your children. Oftentimes they jump at the opportunity to be momma’s helper. At least till they reach a certain age… At that point, a little motivation may be needed. In my experience, though, most human beings enjoy being helpful.

Extended Family and Friends

Family and friends are a tremendous blessing! Many of us are ultra blessed with a willingly helpful community of extended family and friends. Others, maybe not so much. If you have been bestowed with such a blessing- reach out! I have often thought I would look weak if I asked for help with things, but I have discovered that most of my community is only too happy to help out or give advice and suggestions.

I often use my parents, siblings, and friends as a sounding board to bounce ideas off of.

God

My final and most crucial suggestion of a place to turn to for help is our Heavenly Father.

Being self-reliant is one thing when trying to put together that new computer desk or trying to fix a leaky faucet; it’s another thing entirely when tasked with shaping souls. It’s so important to ask for help in our parenting, and prayer, in its essence, is seeking help.

Luke 11:1 “Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.’”

I have always read this as a request to learn HOW to pray, which is undoubtedly part of it. However, I have come to believe we must first learn to pray. Just pray. How you pray matters far less than your need to. Pray and pray often.

As moms, we will come into many situations where we are physically helpless. Our children will walk through numerous encounters that are entirely out of our control. Our wisdom and abilities are limited. We won’t always make the right decisions, no matter how hard we try. And so we will pray- because we need to. Because we have access to unlimited wisdom, boundless strength, and ceaseless love.

Whether you have one kid or twenty kids. Babies or adult children or anywhere in between, pray. Ask for help with your most important job from the greatest resource there is- our Savior and Creator.

Praise His holy name forever!

Meet Mollie

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.