Beware the teenager

I have often listened to weary mothers explaining their reasons for such a statement and it usually involves-if not completely revolves around- a communication breakdown.

I am sure the teenage years can be hard and I in no way want to diminish anyone’s struggle. However, I believe so much can be done to help negate many negative aspects of parenting adolescents.

I do not have a teenager yet. My oldest will be 11 in a couple of weeks, so I am not trying to tell you I have that all figured out. My goal is to share some things I have seen other moms use successfully and now I am doing to help keep open and often communication.

Don’t be distracted

First, pay attention when your babies want to talk. From the very beginning, they know when you’re distracted.

This is something I have recently been very convicted on. It is something I will do good on for a long stretch of time but will find myself gradually getting sucked back into SOME project, purpose, or time-wasting activity.

Even good things are bad when they are keeping you from parenting the kids God has put in your care.

In the past two and a half years, I have had several minor surgeries. About every four months, I would have another one. I would need to take it easy each time for a week or so. I noticed that after being stuck in bed or on the couch for a week, I would struggle to get back into the swing of things. I found myself being sucked into YouTube, Pinterest, or some mindless T.V. show.

It is so easy to fall prey to Satan’s use of distraction. I could truly go on and on about this subject.

The point is, we have GOT to listen to our kids whenever they come to us and whatever they bring to talk about. Having a conversation about unicorns or legos may not seem like it will have any consequential effects, but if you don’t listen to what’s important to them now, why would they bring to you what’s important to them later on?

Listening about legos now brings about opportunities to listen to life-altering decisions later.

Respect

We all want to be respected. Our society has such a skewed view of respect that true respect is all but disappeared. 

Respecting your elders, parents, and authority figures is a very important concept, and I believe the best way to teach respect is to model it. Model showing respect to other adults, yes, but be respectful towards your children as well. 

If you are always talking over and interrupting your children, don’t be surprised when that is their MO in conversation. 

If you can’t look up from your phone when they are asking you a question, don’t expect something different from them.

Now I am not suggesting they should run the show. They still need to learn when to be silent in a conversation. I don’t subscribe to the “let a child do whatever he wants” philosophy, nor do I subscribe to the “children should be seen and not heard” way of thinking. 

I believe a more balanced middle ground is just the ticket to teaching little ones how to be respectful and respectable. 

Don’t air their dirty laundry

My next topic goes hand-in-hand with respect. Not talking badly about your kids to others and not telling every little mistake they make. 

I am not talking about discussing with other moms to seek wisdom on handling certain difficulties. By all means, seek that godly wisdom! But we have all been around, and possibly even been, that mom that can’t wait to tell everyone what terrible things her children have put her through.

Sadly, I know a few moms who constantly talked down about their kids-even in front of them. I truly believe many moms feel they shouldn’t “brag” about their kids, so instead, they talk down about them. Or maybe they feel so down about themselves they project that onto their children. 

Whatever the case, it is not emotionally healthy for anyone involved and tends to push kids away from their parents and towards someone who will say whatever they want to hear. I have seen this happen time and time again. 

Please let your kids know that you think they’re pretty cool. That really goes a long way in keeping communication open.

Having fun and working together

Having fun coupled with working together is so impactful on both your and your child’s (ren) mental health. The joy and laughter that comes from playing together creates lasting positive memories. 

Along with that, the sense of accomplishment after completing a project together (whether it be creating a flower bed, cooking a meal, weeding a garden, cleaning a chicken coop, or simply cleaning house) is a long-lasting lesson learned in work ethic, teamwork, and self-respect. Not to mention skill-building in whatever you’re doing. 

This is one area that I really push. Enjoy your kids and include them in everyday tasks. This means so much to them (even when/if they grumble a little) and will teach them many powerful lessons.

Soak in the scripture and pray, momma

My final thoughts are far and above the most crucial. If you get nothing else from this post, please hear this. Be in the Word (Bible) with your kids, and pray for and with them. I feel so strongly about this I am going to repeat it. Be in the Word with your kids, and pray for and with them.

There is nothing more powerful than our God, and he has richly blessed us with his written word as well as the opportunity to speak with him. 

He offers us the unlimited communication plan. No extra charge for long distance; no roaming fees; no overage charges. 

He is there ready to listen whenever we pray. Period. That fact that the most powerful being in all the universe has granted us an unlimited audience with him is beyond our comprehension. It is truly unthinkable! What a faithful and loving God we serve. Amen!

A practical application of the advice to be in the Word is to do some form of scripture reading with your kids daily. We usually read the verse of the day from my Bible app and discuss it at breakfast, along with reading a section from the Bible in the evening before bed. Right now, we are reading through Genesis. 

We also have a scripture memory rewards system. I work with the kids about every day on their verse. Thursday is our recitation day, if they know their verse and can recite it, they get a sticker on their chart that they got to design. Otherwise, they have to keep practicing until the next Thursday. Once they have five stickers, they get an ice cream cone. It is a fun way to help them memorize scripture.

One of my most prayed prayers for my kids is that the Lord would keep the evil one away and that he would guard their hearts. 

John 10 talks about the Good Shepherd. The good shepherd guards his sheep. He feeds his sheep. He protects his sheep, and he gave his life for his sheep. 

He is able, more than able, to guard our children if we would but ask!

My mom always said she did her best parenting on her knees. I encourage every mom everywhere to follow her’s, and many other faithful mommas’, examples and pray through our parenting. 

Let’s pray right now.

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We humbly come before your throne of grace so thankful. Thankful for the beautiful little lives you have placed in our care. Thankful for the constant help and peace you offer us. Most of all, thankful for your son and the sacrifice he was willing to make to give each of us opportunity to have a relationship with you, our father. 

Right now, we lift our children up to you and ask you to guard their hearts and keep the evil one far away from them. Help them to follow you all their days. Humble them to know that they need you and give them your peace which passes all understanding when they follow after you. 

We pray these things in your son’s beautiful name, Jesus. Amen.

Friend,

If you’re reading this and you don’t know our God. If you haven’t been covered by the blood of Jesus and been given his Holy Spirit as a comforter, please reach out! He is waiting for you and wanting for you to accept his FREE gift of salvation. Don’t wait. It is THE most important decision you will ever make. Make it today.

With love,

Mollie

Meet Mollie

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.