When you look at your daughter, what do you see?

I see three beautiful souls that the Lord loves more than I ever could, even though, right now, that feels impossible..

Now, look in the mirror. For reals, do it.

What do you see?

I see that pimple that has been hanging around for a week. I see stretch marks and saggy skin. I see pudgy legs-not perfectly so. I see a lack of abs and an excess of fat. I see plain brown hair. I see the gaps in my teeth. I see imperfection. I see ugly.

Saturday was definitely one of those days. Every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I would shudder and say something negative.

Now, what made me realize this was affecting my kids was their instantaneous reactions to my comments..

Without thinking they would say, “Mom, you’re not fat!” , or, “You look good!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love that their sweet little hearts wanted me to feel better, but I started thinking if they are hearing me say negative things so often that they have memorized their replies, what kind of message am I sending them???

Answer: The WRONG one!

I see my little three year old, Rosie, talking to herself in the mirror as she brushes her hair. She is telling her reflection how beautiful she is. She looks right past the chocolate syrup on her face and the many uneven layers in her hair from all the haircuts her aspiring beautician sister has given her. She just sees beauty.

As I pondered that it brought me to tears thinking she would lose it. The thought of ANYONE telling her (or my other girls) that she is ugly, imperfect, too fat, too skinny, etc.. makes my heart ache! Realizing it would probably be herself saying it and me teaching her how to, was more than I could take.

Physical beauty is not to be our focus, but God made us beautifully in His image. So it is important.

Realizing God’s standards of beauty are NOT the same as this world’s standards is a good place to start.

Here are some ideas I have either done or plan to do to help my daughters keep their positive self image.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Three

Most importantly, model a positive self image for them. A good friend of mine was telling me about an article on body image she  recently came across. The mom writing the article said she used to shy away from cameras, even when it was her kids that wanted the picture. She always had something negative to say about pictures of herself. She soon realized how detrimental that attitude was and determined to always be up for a picture-no matter if she felt beautiful or not. This mom took it a step further by making at least one positive remark about her appearance in each picture.

I can’t wait to try this!

Now I pray that as I look in the mirror I will see the 99% clear skin. I will see the belly skin that so incredibly stretched over each of my five babies as they grew. I will see the marks that stretching  left behind as a reminder of how blessed I am to have FIVE healthy babies! I will see two healthy, working legs that are perfectly squishy for little people to sit on as we read together. I will see a belly that housed and protected a growing human five times. I will see that the Lord has blessed us with plenty to eat. I will see shining brown hair that is starting to streak with silver. I will see healthy strong teeth the Lord has blessed me with. I will see perfect imperfection. I will see me.

Because when I look at those three little girls I see my daughters, and they are worth it.

Meet Mollie

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.