Luke 10:38-42
New International Version

At the Home of Martha and Mary

“38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.””

At different times in my life, I have been able to relate to both of these women.  

As a teenager I related to Mary wanting to be at the feet of Jesus.   As it turned in to motherhood I found myself relating more and more to Martha, wanting to be in the kitchen or cleaning or having to say “no” to playing with my children.   Well, maybe not necessarily wanting to be in the kitchen but telling myself “I NEEDED to be”.

I have a strong desire to keep a neat and clean house.  I put pressure on myself that I HAVE to or I will not be a good mom or that I am letting my family down.   Never has my family put that pressure on me and never have I consistently been able to achieve it.  

There are times we start running around like Martha trying to get everything done just right, but quickly forget:

–  Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths.” 

– Matt 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all things shall be added unto you.”

What both Mary and Martha were doing were God’s work but we need to find a balance and to remember what is most important.  When we can focus on, spend time with, teach and train others (our children especially) about God, over focusing on how clean our homes are we can take a step back and allow God to lead our days.

I love the saying an elderly lady at our church stated, “your home should be clean enough to healthy and dirty enough to be happy”.    I should probably hang that up in my kitchen as a kind reminder for myself. 

It can be a daily struggle to have a balance with the two, but here are a few TIPS I have found to help keep the balance. 

5 Tips for Balance:

1. Pare down your belongings.  There are so many podcasts, TV series, websites, books, and even Molly’s post last week touched on this very subject.  These can help you pare down to what you need.  It makes for a quick cleanup and less “mess”.  There will still be toys on the floor, dishes on the counter, beds to be made, floors to be vacuumed, but this is because you are living life.  Less stuff will help make the clean up more manageable and less stressful for all involved.  Personally, it also helps me mentally.   I don’t see “stuff” everywhere on everything.  Clutter also clutters my brain and ability to feel relaxed. 

2. Getting your kids involved in chores.  Melinda talked about this in her post on working for the Lord.  If your children are small like mine, you’re still doing a lot of the work.  Being specific and starting small by having them pick up the blue toys, fill the basket, or pick up 10 toys, will help get them more involved.  Work together in the beginning, to teach them how and where to put the toys, or you’ll find the toys transferred to the floor in the other room.  Sing a clean-up song or choose another song to play and try to finish cleaning by the time the song is over. 

3. Include them in the process.  Having them get involved in something that they can feel like they are a part of the family, like helping you set the table or cut up veggies.  Here are some great kid knives.  Obviously, they would still need to be supervised. The other day we were making pancakes and one ended up looking like a fish.  We were able to talk about Jonah and the big fish.  We talked about how Jonah did not want to listen and obey God when God told him to go to Ninevah.    When we can teach our children Bible stories we can be in the word as well and gain wisdom and reminders as to how we are supposed to live. 

4. Have a morning “spot” where you can spend 5 or 10 minutes.  Have your bible right there sitting, waiting for you each morning, or even waiting for you when you have a quick quiet minute.  When my girls were even younger 5-10 minutes were hard to find.  But, when trying to find those little moments, it was important to have it set up already.  Finding a bible, devotional book, podcast, or music that helps you focus on God and get connected.  Pray throughout the day.  Look for God’s presence around you: in the morning light, the birds chirping, the sunny warm spring day.   Create a morning playlist with songs you have chosen to start your day with.   I also created a simple prayer request and praises board in my kitchen that I glance at and can start praying while cleaning, cooking or grabbing a snack.  I will link at the bottom as a freebie for you, if you wish to add to your home as well. 

5. One more thing I will mention is getting up before your children. It is a great time to have alone with God.  It wasn’t until recent that I actually was able to experience it.   I still had a nursing through the night toddler which makes getting up before your children nearly impossible.  Dear Mothers who are in that stage in life, please know, sometimes you get in survival mode and you need sleep.  This is where tip number 4 is important because you are finding time with God in the cracks throughout your day, you are setting yourself up for success by already having a spot with everything ready.   

Even when doing these tips, it doesn’t always make it easy. 

After a while I tend to get frustrated because I feel like I have to clean the kitchen constantly, one meal after another, pick up laundry, clean up toys, clean up spills, wash, dry, fold and put away laundry, make lunches, wipe bottoms, bathe children, etc.  These are things I can’t seem to check off the list, they’re always there calling my name, same thing over and over again. It can get overwhelming.  Satan loves to get new moms, overwhelmed moms and busy moms; new mom’s whose lives have just been changed drastically from a working wife to a new job, new title and new body, new hormones, and new environment. 

I’ve always wanted to make our house a home of love, safety, of Christ and His stories and of relaxation especially for my husband after a long day.  But I was struggling to feel like “I’ve made it”. 

What I have come to find out is when I start to drift down the path of exhaustion, confusion and uncertainty a common denominator is I haven’t spent time in the word or time with God.  The times I feel like “I’m on the right track” or “today it feels like a home” is when I spend my time and focus on God.  All the other things seem to fall in to place.  I seem to have more patience, more understanding, more energy, more clarity, and more healthy choices all around. 

This past December my sister-in-law gifted me this book called, “Beholding & Becoming The Art of Everyday Worship” by Ruth Chou Simons for my birthday and in it, the author states,

“Faithfulness in the unremarkable daily tasks often goes unnoticed—but not to the God who numbers your days.  To our all-seeing God, everyday faithfulness is an act of worship and not just an act of survival.” pg. 38

What a great reminder to faithfully work and serve not for approval and acknowledgment from the world or our family but to “continually beholding, in their hearts, their true Master and the eternal treasure waiting for them as children of God“.  (Ruth Chou Simons: Beholding and Becoming The Art of Everyday Worship, pg. 38).   I also love what she continues to remind us “When we turn to Jesus for the forgiveness of our sin and trust Him for the new life we live to His glory, He breaks the bond of the idolatry of comfort, ease, pride, and unrealistic expectations.  He gives us a new mind and will through a softened heart that desires to please Him.  What God revealed here to the Israelites long before the birth of Christ ultimately found its fulfillment in the sacrificial death of Jesus, who enables us through the Spirit to walk with Him, obey and learn to love what must be done. ” (Ruth Chou Simons: Beholding and Becoming The Art of Everyday Worship, pg. 47). 

When we can daily remind ourselves of the love and truth of Jesus, how we were saved and rejoice; It keeps our focus where it should be.  Where the most important is highlighted.  Where our load is lifted and all we need, is to focus on following Christ.  It allows us to not be overwhelmed by the mess because there’s no clutter- it is just a mess from living.  It allows us to stop, play, interact and enjoy time with our children and have the conversations with them we wouldn’t otherwise.

To our wonderful God, Thank you for Jesus and His sacrifice, the continuing of your love, devotion, and grace to our human world.  May we all find our focus on you, to be devoted and faithful.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.