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5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage

5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage

by | Sep 13, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

A good marriage isn’t something you find, it’s something you make and have to keep on making it.

Marriage takes work and it can be very hard sometimes But the reward of a happy marriage is so worth it! Whether you have been married for 5 years or 50 years, actively protecting your marriage is so important!

Sadly, healthy, thriving marriages are on the decline. We have an enemy that attacks marriages every day. He knows that matrimony is not only the foundation of the family, but of a healthy society.

Trevor and I are blessed to come from a long legacy of lasting marriages. My Mom’s parents celebrated their 69th anniversary this summer and are an amazing inspiration of love and commitment. My Grandma (we call her Mika!) is one of our guest bloggers here at OBM so keep yours eyes open for her words of wisdom and inspiration later this month.

Trevor’s grandparents are equally as inspiring. His Mom’s parents have been married for 64 years now and his dad’s parents for 63.
My dad’s parents also have a beautiful love story! They married when my Granny was 17 years old and have been together for almost 57 years now.
Both sets of our parents have also blessed us with beautiful examples of marriage.

Trevor’s parents will celebrate their 41st anniversary later this month (Happy anniversary Monty and Melannie!) While mine celebrated their 34th in April of this year.

Combined, that is a total of 328 years of marriage experience! We have had the incredible opportunity to see, or hear, first-hand how these couples have handled difficult situations and beautiful moments alike.

Whether, your marriage is struggling or superb
I know you will enjoy these nuggets of wedlock wisdom we have gleaned over the past 10 years.

Spend Time Together

This sounds like a simple thing but it is very easily put on the back-burner. Carve out time for each other every single day. Even if it’s only 5 uninterrupted minutes of conversation-do it! Having a date night once a week is a great goal to shoot for. We don’t always get to “go out” but we try to spend a good chunk of quality time together every week. Sometimes that looks like building fence or weeding the garden together, but working as a team is important, too.

Basically, do whatever it takes to make time for each other.

Have each Other’s Back

I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a group of wives who start talking about their husbands’ “flaws”. Before too long, it turns into a competition of who has the worst husband. “George never helps with the laundry.”, “Oh, you think that is bad??? Well, my Joshua doesn’t even put his clothes in the hamper!”, “Oh please! That’s nothing compared to the slob I live with! And to top it off, he never remembers to put the toilet seat down!”

I have fallen into this trap on more than one occasion myself. However, a few years ago I tried something new. When the talk turned to missed laundry hampers and lidless toothpaste I said something positive about my man. It is amazing how fast the dialogue would switch from negative to positive speech. I believe it is so important for your husband to know that you have his back and equally as important for you to know that he has your’s.

Don’t Neglect Intimacy

I am a firm believer that a married couple’s sex life is just that- THEIR’S! Not my business and mine is not your’s. However, intimacy in marriage is hugely important and should not be neglected. There are many resources out there to help couples in this sensitive area. One that I would recommend is Dr. Kevin Leman’s “Sheet Music”. This short read is available at most book stores and can be found on Audible.

Celebrate Each Other

Trevor and I recently took a weekend trip to celebrate our tenth anniversary This trip was to be the first time we have been able to “get-away” since we were married. There were several things that came up and/or happened right before we were supposed to leave that put me on the verge of canceling our trip! Everything from not being able to fly into the city where we needed to fly into, to our oldest son breaking his arm. My mom, sister and friend (Emily) graciously stepped in and helped get us on our way. The trip was a wonderful refreshment for both Trevor and I! (Stay tuned for more on that mini-vacay!)

Make sure your spouse knows you value them and their accomplishments. Celebrate milestones. Make a big deal out of each and every success they have. Be their biggest fan and their loudest cheerleader.

Pray Together

There is not much that is as intimate as inviting someone into your prayer life. Praying together on the regular is vastly impactful and absolutely irreplaceable! Prayer has a massive impact on marriage! Use it as an every day tool.

To sum it all up, your marriage is worth investing in! A happy marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children and, ultimately, one of the best gifts you can give to yourself as well.

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Prayer Starters for Couples

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Honor Your Father

Honor Your Father

by | Jun 14, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

Happy Father’s Day!

This blog is for mommas, you say?

You’re right!

But those daddies sure are important. Statistics show that kids with involved fathers in their lives are considerably less likely to end up involved in criminal activities and considerably MORE likely to retain their childhood faith.

WOW!

Don’t get me wrong, moms play a massive role in raising kids. My dad always told my brothers to be very careful who they chose to date because who you date is who you marry and who you marry is who raises your kids.

Moms generally spend more time with their kids than dads but that doesn’t diminish the lasting effects of daddy time.

Papa

I am incredibly blessed to have an outstanding dad. Growing up we called him, Papa. Now-a-days he usually goes by, Pop.

He is not the kind of dad who let his little girls paint his nails or curl his hair. He isn’t the dad that told us how pretty we were or how much he loved us. He isn’t the dad who cried when I got engaged-at least not that I saw.

When as a teenager I would say, “I am so fat!” he is the dad that would reply with, “If you think you’re fat then quit whining and do something about it!”

Tough love? Maybe.

The Dad He Is

He is the dad that taught his 7 kids how to work, and work hard. The dad who taught us how to ride a horse, change a tire, drive a car, irrigate a field, milk a cow, run a tractor and many, many other life skills. He taught us how to be kind and put others first. He taught to honor your parents, even when you don’t agree. How to respect your elders and help those in need.

He is the dad who encouraged us to get up early and go to bed on time.

He makes the best fried egg you’ll ever eat! Even though he doesn’t like making them over-hard he does it for me.

He is the dad that rescued me multiple times when my car died on the side of the road. The dad who helped build many projects at my house. The dad who always has good advice and knows how to fix EVERYTHING!

The dad who is a faithful follower of Jesus and has been an example of God’s love. The dad who showed me how to study the Bible and pray. The dad who encourages my relationship with the Lord above everything else.

I think he is the single most influential person in my life. Aside from my husband, he is the one I call when I am stressed.

He is my Papa.

The things he has done and the support he has given to my family is more than I can possibly describe or thank him for. Whenever I say, “Thank you” to him he always has the same reply, “That’s what Pops are for.”

My Husband

I have been equally blessed with a loving husband as the father to my children.

Trevor is the hardest worker I know. He works a full time job and runs our cattle ranch.

He comes home from work and works some more. 7 days a week.

He is a very busy man but there is a chunk of time he tries to ALWAYS keep for his kids.

Bedtime

Ever since our oldest son was a toddler Trevor has put the kids in bed.

Most of the time he still has chores and projects outside to finish but he makes a point to stop and come inside to spend time with his family. He tucks them in bed after many hugs and kisses and heads back outside to keep working.

That time with our kids means the world to them and I appreciate the break! More than a break I appreciate the huge effort he puts forth to be present and involved with our kids

The patience and love he shows to me and our children is often undeserved.

Trevor and I are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary later this summer so be looking for more on my AMAZING man and our beautiful love story.

Our Heavenly Father

Just like many of us have great fathers and husbands we ALL have a heavenly father who loves us more and better than any human can.

2 Corinthians 6:18 “And I will be a father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

Psalm 103:13 “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

Dads have a HUGE influence and responsibility in the family. Some men don’t own up to their responsibilities and some men are shut down by the one person in their lives that should always have their back, their wife.

I have shut down my husband more than once when I didn’t agree with the way he did or said something to the kids. I was out of place. My job is to support and pray for him as a christian, man, husband and father.

Does that mean he is always right? That he always makes good decisions? No, but God knew what he was doing when he gave HIM the responsibility.

I like the saying, “When you’re on your knees God has a clear path to smack your husband.”

Use every moment you can to pray for, love and support your childrens’ dad. It’s not always easy but it is worth it.

This Father’s Day thank your dad. Thank your husband. Thank them for everything they do and have done for you and for your kids. To them, they may just be doing their job but their job is so big and important that to us, it is everything.

There is a country song that reminds me of the awesome dads in my life. Whenever I hear it I end up in tears. Written by a dad, the chorus goes like this:

That’s my job. That’s what I do. Everything I do is because of you. To keep you safe with me. That’s my job you see.

As my dad would say, “That’s what Pops are for.”

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Happily Hospitable

Happily Hospitable

by | May 10, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

It’s been a little nuts around here lately. As the school year winds down everything is being crammed into the last few weeks.

Recitals with my piano students, appreciation dinners to plan, interviews for new staff, board meetings, and on and on and on.

When you add branding calves, irrigating, and all the ranch stuff that goes on in the spring, it’s easy to feel like we are only in the house long enough to mess it up and never clean it up.

A gift

As Mother’s Day approached I began to think about my mom.

When I pondered all the things my mom has taught me it became difficult to zero in on just one. She is an incredible human being, a gift to this world, and a blessing to me.

I finally settled on her gift of hospitality. Even when she is in a crazy season like I am right now, she is still the most hospitable person I know.

She raised 7 kids in a 1980 single-wide trailer. That means there were 9 of us in, what started out as, a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house. Yes, one bathroom.

Let me paint you a picture. If you were in the shower and someone had to go, well, you pulled the shower curtain closed and had a good chat while they used the toilet and you washed your hair. We were very……close.

Anyway, with that many people in a small home, you can imagine the house was not always spotless. Yet we often had people unexpectedly drop by (coincidentally, it was usually around supper time. Hmmm…)

Hospitality

My first instinct would be to meet them on the porch and, whatever you do, don’t let them see the house!

Thankfully, my mom was NOT that way.

She always believed in throwing an extra bean in the pot and welcomed expected and unexpected visitors alike. Messy house and all.

She has a way of making every person who walks into her house feel like she has been waiting for them to arrive. She greets with a smile and a hug while pulling up a chair and setting out another plate.

One person recently told me, “Walking into your mom’s house is like putting on your favorite sweater.”

I love the plaque Mom has hanging in her mismatched decor kitchen. It reads, “If you’re coming to see my house, give me six weeks notice. If you’re coming to see me, come anytime.”

I am so grateful that the Lord blessed me with a mother that knew the value of hospitality is greater than the fear of someone judging your housecleaning skills. A mom who knew that spending time her kids was better than having everything organized at all times. A mom who knew the importance of relationships. I am so grateful for the woman that she is. My mom.

I pray the Lord will make me into someone that can carry on her legacy and walk in her shoes. I pray that I can honor her and teach my children as much as she has taught me. I pray that every person who walks in my house will feel like they just put on their favorite sweater.

On this Mother’s Day, I cannot think of anyone worth celebrating more than the woman who gave me life and the knowledge of how to make the most of it by serving others.

Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.

Proverbs 31:29

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Proverbs 31:29 image

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Spring Cleaning and Space Saving Tips

Spring Cleaning and Space Saving Tips

by | Mar 8, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

It’s the month of March and spring is in the air! Here on the farm baby calves are being born and the red-winged black birds have returned! Their sweet song always makes my heart soar on the wings of hope! Hope of new beginnings. Hope of new life.

My second son, Cole, is a very insightful kiddo. He notices and appreciates the beauty in even the smallest of details. He is the kid that, as we are driving, will say, “Aren’t the mountains beautiful, Mama?” or, “Look at the sage brush. I love the greenish grayish color of it!”

And that boy LOVES sunsets! He will carefully label each color with a creative name and praise God for the beauty He created. I cannot see a sunset without thinking about my sweet Cole man.

Recently, he and I were talking about spring. He was telling me all about his favorite attributes of the season. He prefaced our conversation with, “I love all the seasons but spring is my favorite. I love that everything starts over!”

Many people are looking for a restart.

Spring cleaning is one of the ways I like to “restart” my home.

One of my favorite hobbies is what I call efficient interior decorating. It makes my heart happy when I can take a room from drab and dysfunctional to functional and fabulous!

We live in a 950-ish square foot house and with 5 kids it can definitely feel tight!

It seems that I am forever moving things and changing things around to make every square inch count!

Whether you’re dealing with a small house or just wanting to maximize the efficiency of a space I know you will love these space saving ideas.

1. Purge

Purging is not a once-a-year one-and-done deal. It is a constant process. I always have a “get rid of ” box or bag in my house.

We are blessed to live in a community where sharing hand-me-downs is the norm. I have never HAD to buy clothes for my kids-that’s not to say I haven’t, just never needed to. All those hand-me-downs are a HUGE blessing but it is easy to accumulate too many clothes in a size. Every time I do laundry I make it a goal to purge out any “extra” clothes. Any clothes that I consider difficult (i.e. clothes that wrinkle easily, are ill-fitting, I love but my kiddo hates, etc.).

I also purge out any torn or stained clothing. I either pass it on to someone who can use it, throw it away or donate it to our local Goodwill.
It is vital to an organized space to be a constant purger.

I also purge my living room and kitchen on a regular basis but clothes are our biggest issue.
(How many clothes do kids need? I keep 7 of each item except socks and underwear-I keep double of those.)

2. Look for places to create storage

Using vertical space is an excellent way to save valuable real estate. Adding some simple open shelving is a great way to display knick-knacks and keep your house from looking cluttered.

I keep playing cards, matches and keys in my pretty tins. They look cute and serve a purpose!

We also have risers under our bed to create storage space for file boxes and other larger items like the guitar case and suitcases.

3. Find cute, fun and functional pieces

Look for ways to use pieces you already have even if it means making some minor adjustments or using them differently than intended.

Like my school area I created by changing the intended use of nesting box shelves. Or taking chicken wire baskets and screwing them to the wall to use as as produce baskets. Using book shelves to store canned goods. Hanging cast iron skillets (that I use all the time!) on the wall to serve as rustic decor AND storage.

4. A place for everything and everything in it’s place

The old saying truly has a great deal of wisdom! If you don’t have space for it and/or it doesn’t serve a purpose, get rid of it!,

Be intentional about what you choose to keep in your home. Don’t clutter your life with stuff!

I recently purged my boy’s room (Again!) and it has made a significant difference in the amount of time it takes them to get ready in the morning, clean their room and find their stuff. It has also increased their overall enjoyment of their room.

Collect moments not things…

By implementing these practices in my home I have been able to free up some time and, more importantly, free my mind to focus more on my relationship with the Lord and my family.

My goal has never been to have a perfect home but to have one that my family can live in.

To borrow a quote from my lovely mother-in-law, I want my house to be clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy.

Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Giving God the First Fruits of Our Time

Giving God the First Fruits of Our Time

by | Feb 8, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

“The first of the first fruits of your land you shall bring into the house of the Lord your God.”
Exodus 23:19a

God told the Israelites to give Him the first of the first fruits. He wanted their BEST.

Similarly, today He asks for our hearts and one way we show that is by how we spend our time.

I have to put on my steel toe boots to even write this!

I am SO guilty of putting my worship of God on the very back burner. You know what generally happens after a little while of doing this? I become sad. Down in the dumps. Completely overwhelmed with the 47 million things I am trying to juggle and still not accomplishing anything meaningful.

One thing I have learned through my christian walk is that, most everything God asks of us is for our own good. He created us and knows us intimately.

“For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb.”
Psalm 139:13

He knows EXACTLY how and why we function and think the way we do. He knows what we need and loves and cares for us more than we can comprehend!

It may seem a little selfish for God to ask for our best but He knows when we give Him our best our hearts are surrendered to Him and we can then fully embrace His perfect peace that passes all understanding.

As moms, it is SO easy to give all of our time away. Kids need fed, clothed, washed, taught, loved, fed again and on and on and on. You add in ANY extra curricular activity (as my kids have gotten older its much harder to avoid these!) and we are over the top!

Many moms, (myself included) have jobs outside the home as well. That takes time away from keeping your house from looking like the 7 dwarfs haven’t had Snow White over for a couple years.

Oh! And there is your husband. That guy likes some attention every now and then too. Once you add all these together (plus, most everyone has other commitments they are fulfilling as well) you just plain DON’T have time for God!

If this could be a description of you, you are not alone! I am driving this crazy bus of over committed, over caffeinated, overwhelmed mommas.

It’s time to get back to giving God the first fruits of my time. This will look different for each momma, depending on lifestyle.

I want to share a few ways I am choosing to honor God with my time.

1. Say, NO!

This is an incredibly difficult but very impactful ability to have. You DO NOT have to volunteer for every committee, sign up for every elective, be at every function or every extended family meal. I’m not saying, be a moocher or cut all family ties, just set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say, “No” or “Not this time”. Use discernment.

2. Ask For Help.

Some people are going to judge me for this and that is fine. It’s OK (more than OK!) to have your kids help you!

Ranch life is a very, all-hands-on-deck type of lifestyle. Our kids work and work hard. They have chores to do outside and zones to keep clean inside. AND, (it gets worse!) I ask my older kids to help me with my younger kids.

You know what?

They LOVE it!

Kids thrive with responsibility! We do try to balance work and play for them. They have certain chores that they do just because they are part of this family and other chores (like their zones) that are “paying” jobs.

Being able to delegate some responsibility not only trains them to be contributing members of society, it also frees up some time for you!

3. Be Intentional.

Now that we are saying, no, and freeing up time. The next step is being intentional about using our time. Maybe you have 30 minutes after school that the kids are snacking or playing and you don’t have a lot of distractions. DO NOT pull your phone out and spend that time comparing yourself to all the “picture perfect” moms on social media. Be diligent about spending that time in prayer, study and worship.

If you are a morning person, (or even if you’re not!) try getting up 30 minutes earlier to get some God time in. Use some time before bed to connect with God. Wherever and whenever you can carve that time out, DO IT!

 

4. Have A Plan.

Having a study I am working on (like this one) or a reading plan in place (such as this one) makes my study time so much more fulfilling! It also gives me more motivation to stay on a track.

Even if you simply pick a book of the bible and read through it, taking notes and looking up things you don’t understand. Just knowing you are reading “Ephesians 2” today, can be very helpful.

Ultimately, it’s not the method we use but the motive we have.

The Lord deeply craves our heart. Our WHOLE heart and He is the only one who can make our hearts whole.

Trust your heart to Him, honor Him with your time. You will never regret the makeover He gives.

“Casting all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

New Year’s Focus

New Year’s Focus

by | Jan 11, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

Hello 2021!

I know for many people, leaving 2020 feels like a relief. 2020 was a challenging year for sure! However, I am choosing to look for the silver lining. 

Let’s go back a year to January 2020. No, even further than that. June of 2019. I celebrated my 28th birthday and was getting ready to deliver my 5th child (getting ready? Who am I kidding? I WAS ready!!). I was feeling, shall we say, overwhelmed! I started realizing I was being pulled in too many different directions. I have 6 siblings and we grew up as a super close-knit family. They are an AMAZING blessing but I realized I had never made a clear transition from being the big sister who lived at home to the big sister who had a husband and kids of her own. I was still trying to be as involved in each of my siblings’ lives as I had been, trying to be everything to everyone. I realized I had been prioritizing my siblings over the needs of my own little family. 

I prayed that the Lord would guide me to make the right decisions and find balance. (For more on making good decisions, check out Melinda’s blog here)

A few months later I was listening to a podcast that was talking about New Year’s focus instead of resolutions. This family focused on one character trait each year and every decision they made that year was filtered through that lens. Wow! This idea sounded great! We prayed that the Lord would reveal the most predominant area in our lives that needed to be worked on. After much prayer we truly felt the Lord had put on our heart to spend the year Intentionally focusing on our little family. 

The Covid pandemic actually aided in this focus. With everything shut down we spent a lot more time with just our family. The kids and I built a significant amount of fence, gardened together, raised ducks, irrigated, put up hay and worked on our yard landscaping. We played a lot and spent a great deal more time studying God’s word together. 

There were still many situations that arose and we would have to prayerfully consider the options, through the lens of family time.

Looking back, I can clearly see the Lord’s blessing over our endeavor in so many ways. Some of them seemed incredibly stress filled and painful at the time, but I can now see that God’s hand was in it all. 

After much prayer we have decided our focus for 2021 will be Family Meals.

To some of you this may seem easy and almost silly, but to me, this is a real struggle. Trying to make sure I am fixing 3 meals a day and making those meals as healthy as possible pushes me to my limits! Too often I don’t prioritize meals. I am busy working on other things and don’t stop to cook. I have found a few things that I know are gonna help me succeed!

1. I want my kids to learn how to cook so we are building off of something we started last year.

Thursday nights we plan to always be home and spend the night playing games or watching a movie together. Every week, one kid plans the supper and the activity. They choose the meal and do most of the cooking. Obviously, the younger ones have lots of supervision. This was fun last year and we look forward to expanding the tradition. The reason we chose Thursday nights was because the weekend evenings is when most other events are planned. We knew there would be more times that we would have stuff we had to do on the weekends so we chose to set ourselves up for success. We still have times we have to say no to things, but it’s usually things that are not as big a deal.

2. Making some meals ahead of time.

Crock-pot, instant-pot and freezers are wonderful time savers! There are so many meals that can be thrown together in the morning in a crock-pot. There are also many wonderful meal plans out there with grocery lists already put together. I especially love this blog The Family Freezer. She has lots of great ideas and meal plans. It is so nice to grab a bag out of the freezer and throw it in the crock-pot or instant-pot, knowing it is a healthy, delicious meal you prepared ahead of time.

3. Breakfast is the hardest meal for me!

Especially on school mornings. I have been trying to be very intentional about having SOMETHING for breakfast. Even if it’s just oatmeal and toast. An easy thing to do is cook up (Or buy pre-cooked) breakfast meats. You can refrigerate and reheat them very easily and quickly on the stove. Even if you have cold cereal but you add a side of bacon or sausage, that at least adds protein!

These are 3 things I have already implemented for the year. I would love to hear what ways you are looking to change or improve this year!

I also wanted to leave a list of resources that greatly helped me this past year to keep my ultimate life focus, to serve the Lord.

1. The Armor of God study by Priscilla Shirer

This study is FANTASTIC! I highly recommend this. The best part is that she has resources for adults, teens, older kids and younger kids so the whole family can be working on the same study! You can find her books on Amazon using this link. We may make a commission if you use the link at no extra cost to you. Thank you!

2. Focus on the Family app

This app is one I have enjoyed for years. They have so many helpful resources and broadcasts that can really encourage you whatever season of life you are in.

3. Daily Audio Bible app

This is another excellent way to get a daily dose of God’s word! This app has really encouraged me throughout the year.

4. Prayer Journaling

Prayer journaling is something I have done for about 10 years, and it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly helpful this one small thing is.

I’ll end by saying that life is certainly uncertain. Even when we think we have a clear plan and path for our life there are so many things that can change it. This scripture is one that I keep at the forefront of my mind. Jesus says in John 16:33 “These things have I spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family