I would like to introduce you to my momma, Melannie. By many people’s standards she became a momma at a young age,19. Her first child was born on October 4, 1981 and had her pacing the floors every evening for at least 6 months.

A Miracle?

After having so much trouble with her first born, she says it’s a miracle she had any more children. So when the biggest blessing of her life (me 😜) came just 20 months later, and completely disrupted the schedule she had FINALLY established with her first baby she once again rose to the challenge. She now had one child who slept from 10-10 and another who slept from 5-5. Sorry mom.

By the time she was 26 she had 4 young children – 2 boys and 2 girls – the perfect little family. Before becoming a mom, this may sound fantastic, 4 young children relatively close in age. However, I’m guessing most of you who are moms are cringing at the thought. You know the struggles that come along with those blessings.

How do you do it?

I can’t imagine having 4 small children! When I had 2 babies and 1-3 older kids (we’re a blended family so the number depends on the day), I asked her how she did it? She assured me it was only with the help of her momma and sister. I have been blessed to be surrounded by amazing women who have supported me on my motherhood journey. First my momma, aunts, grandmothers, and even my great-grandmothers, and special women in my church families. 

When her youngest was 17 months old she moved 900 miles away from her family and her in-laws to a new place where she knew no one.

A great lesson

One thing I’ve learned from my mom, from my parents, is that family is not just those related through blood. When we moved to Texas in 1990 we made great friends who took us in as family. One friend insisted on teaching us kids to swim in her pool and then taking mom and us to Galveston for our first beach trip. We spent Sunday afternoons playing softball with neighbors in the pasture behind our house.

Mom was always ready for someone to drop by un-announced. This is something I wish I could claim! I guess that lesson didn’t stick, oops! Mom is known for her amazing cookies, delicious ice cream and amazing pizza. Friends have told her she should open a pizza and ice cream shop.

I remember her attending a field trip with me and being so proud when a friend’s mom asked for tips on how to make her amazing cookies.

When the children become adults

Now that I am a mom, I always wonder, “what would my mom do?” And when the answer isn’t in my head I pick up the phone and call her.

What do I do for my puking kid?

What do I do for that horrible smell after the kid has puked everywhere?

How do I clean up this mold that suddenly appeared? Yuck!

Can you give me that favorite recipe, again? (I promise to put it in my new recipe box this time)

This kid is driving me crazy! when do they stop being so needy and stop asking a million questions? (Oh what’s that, your 37-year-old daughter is still needy and still calls to ask a million questions 🙂 Sorry, mom!)

I have one adult child now and can attest that it changes things.

My goals

My mom and I are great friends, before I moved 2000 miles away, we enjoyed grocery shopping together, processing apples, so many other activities. Now that I have moved, our time together mostly consists of periodic phone calls. Some weeks we talk daily, other times 2 weeks will pass by before we can find a mutually available time.

One of my goals is to be able to be friends with my adult children just as my mom is. It is hard to see that future when I am in the middle of a period where my kids need for guidance, structure, and discipline are more important than my friendship. I hope as they grow, they will always know I am here for them and they can depend on me just as much as I depend on my momma. As they move on from my home, I hope I get the phone calls when adulting seems too hard, when they need “mom” advice. I could just go to Google or Pinterest to find the answers to many of my queries, but I am so grateful that I can pick up the phone and call my mom.

I have several friends who don’t have that blessing, some have missed their mom for years, others this will be their first Mother’s Day without their momma. My heart goes out to each of you, I can’t possibly imagine the pain you are going through on this holiday as well as in the daily moments when you may wish you could just pick up the phone and ask your mom a question or receive assurance from her.