Blessings in the Unexpected

From the very beginning, motherhood has not been what I expected it to be. I wanted to have kids and be a mom and I thought I had this idea of what it would be like. Reality is nothing like that, but God has been good!

A quick overview of my motherhood journey

I unexpectedly got pregnant in the middle of the pandemic. A first time young mom, going to appointments all alone without my husband…but God provided a fabulous doctor that took great care of me and really listened to everything along the way.

My son’s birth didn’t go as I planned. Nothing happened the way I wanted it to…but God provided a safe and fast delivery, a healthy baby, and wonderful nurses to make that happen. I couldn’t breastfeed, even though I wanted to…but God provided me with friends and a mom who understood and supported my decision to stop. And then He continued His blessing with making the transition to formula easy for my baby, who began to grow and thrive right away.

I have PPD/A and need medication…but God provided a doctor who helped me figure out what to do and sat with me as I cried in her office. He provided modern medicine to help me handle daily life.

I didn’t realize what being a stay at home mom would truly be like…but God provided a supportive group of mom friends at church, a job that allows my husband to come home early on the really hard days, and a happy little boy who makes it all worth it.

I say all that to say…

Motherhood probably won’t go how we plan it, but we usually end up blessed by it.

Being a mom is such a beautiful thing. It grows you and challenges you every day. And now that my son is a toddler, I feel like I’m being challenged in new ways. I believe that’s how motherhood was intended to be – I think as moms, we will never stop learning and growing and being challenged, but that all makes up the mom that we are. It all makes us who we are as a person.

Without my motherhood journey, I wouldn’t be the mom, or Rheanna, that I am now. I learned to surrender my plans and go with the ones that were even better (even if it’s not what I wanted – which was so hard!). By letting go of what I thought I wanted and taking the chance on what was in front of me, I was given everything I needed.

I still have a hard time of not worrying and I try to control things a lot. When I do that, I end up stressed and burnt out. My son is really stretching me in that area…God knew I needed him. He’s such a spunky, independent little guy. I have learned that he will march to the beat of his own drum, no matter what I plan.

Every day is something new with him. I am continually learning and seeing things in a new way through his eyes. I love that! It’s also another way I learn to let go of my own plans and find blessing in the unexpected.

I have tried planning activities or outings for him, and most of the time they go well. But then there are the few where he doesn’t react how I think and the plan I had goes away. I try to not hold on so hard to my own “picture perfect plan” and focus on my son’s joy in whatever he’s doing and however he’s doing it.

These days are precious, and if I try to make my plans happen, I lose out on valuable time. Not every day, every activity, every trip, will go as I expect it…but there is so much joy to be found in the way that it does go.

It’s a perfect day to them.

I’m by far no expert in this. I still want control and predictability, but I’m learning that motherhood cannot be described in that way. And that’s ok. Our babies don’t care about perfect plans, they just want to spend time with their perfect person – mom.

At the end of the day, no matter how it might have gone, I get sweet little bedtime cuddles and know that my son had the best day.