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Role Changes

Role Changes

by | Jul 19, 2021 | Julia, One Blessed Momma

I used to be a Kindergarten teacher. I decided to stay at home when I had my firstborn.

Since then all of my teaching “stuff” has been placed into the basement. Recently, I have sorted through some of my children’s books. I have been able to give many children books away, but the past few weeks, I went through the majority of my teaching textbooks, children’s books and resources to be able to donate to a new classroom.

It made me reflect on all the life that has occurred to bring me to this very moment and all the role changes I have gone through.

Before I was married I was a daughter, granddaughter, friend, girlfriend, and student. These were all the independent years when I mostly had to just think and worry about myself.

Mrs. Trayer

I got married, got a new job and therefore, a new title of Mrs. Trayer. I was now in charge of paying attention to someone else’s needs other than my own, who was a part of me. Also, in charge of little children who depended on me for 8-10 hours of their day and their parents who expected me to teach their littles how to read and write their ABC’s.

I enjoyed being a wife and a teacher duo. I got to practice those roles for many years. I learned a lot about my job as a teacher and a lot about myself as a person while being a wife and it especially made me reflect on the relationship of Christ with the church. During this time, I was able to get a decent amount of sleep and could eat what I wanted, when I wanted. Whether that meant eating at home, eating out or having to change my thought process to cooking whole foods that would help me get off my thyroid medication (that’s a whole other story).

Mother

When I become a mother my role changed and it changed quickly and drastically.

If you have never been pregnant or are currently pregnant with your first PLEASE do not be discouraged. This is a beautiful process. It can be hard but it doesn’t make it any less beautiful. Just think about how the caterpillar has to metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly. Not always easy but beautiful.

Then, I had my first child and everything that I did for myself now became second because I was in complete control of keeping this precious little human alive. I asked myself how? How am I supposed to take care of myself postpartum AND take care of this precious baby who needs me around the clock? I am completely new to this role and I don’t even know her. I felt the need to observe her almost every second so I could figure out her every cry and know what she needed when she needed it.

Yet, I was in pain. Somehow, I needed to figure out how to heal and keep my body from getting worse and gaining an infection. It pained me to stand longer than 10 minutes. When was I supposed to get my food and take a shower? Do I even dare put clean clothes on that were just going to get spit up on in 20 minutes? Also, what clothes do I even put on? Nothing fits me the same way. The nursing tank I got was too small because how was I to know that the milk my body was producing would change the size of my milk containers.

Ice packs, ice packs, and more ice packs.

I was exhausted. I would sleep 2-3 hours stretches. Since my husband had to drive for work, I offered to take the nights because I was the one feeding her and I didn’t have to drive the next day for work. I remember I would pray for daylight because the nights were LOOONNNNGG. I had a whole new understanding of the verse, “joy comes in the morning”. I felt I needed coffee to be alert enough to take care of my baby, yet remind myself “you’re not supposed to have too much caffeine in a day”.

So many changes occur in a year to you physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you are the first of your friends to have a baby, it may feel hard to relate and have someone to talk to.

We also start to compare ourselves to other moms, whether it’s the support they receive, how they make it look so easy, the temperments of their children, etc. 

Turning Points

I LLOOOVVVVEEEDD my new title AND there were also times I wondered who I was becoming. Did I recognize her?

This wasn’t a bad thing, but this was a turning point for me and can be for a lot of mothers.

At this moment, it made me start thinking about the one role that has NEVER changed and has stayed constant: my role as a daughter of God. This has been the role I can always rely on for identity and strength. A role that I look back at all the ups and downs and can observe any growth and any falls in my journey.

To help in identifying my identity I started searching for love, joy and peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I Remind myself, I am loved, I am chosen, I am blessed.

Then, I check in with myself.  Also, don’t forget to check in with other momma’s too.  Talk to those around you- mother’s you look up to.  Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Proverbs 31:25: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

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Print out to remind yourself of who you are and whose you are. 

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Meet Julia!

Julia is a wife to her high-school sweetheart, a mother to two beautiful girls and a follower of Christ.   She loves crafting, teaching and is forever grateful for a God who is in control of all unknowns and thankful we can have a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Hello, is anyone there?

Hello, is anyone there?

by | Jul 5, 2021 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

In a world where we are constantly “connected” to everyone all the time, we are beginning to see we aren’t really connected to very many of those people.
 

Where are the meaningful connections?

I love Sundays because they are full of connections. Yesterday, I was blessed by much-needed connection with a fellow mom. Sometimes connecting with moms of older children is just the wisdom and encouragement we need to keep encouraging our own children. Sometimes this momma journey is full of joys and sometimes it is full of struggles. Most of the time it is a little of both, but connecting with other mommas helps us keep moving forward and makes it a little easier to be who our children need us to be. This particular conversation reminded me I’m not the only momma dealing with a particular situation and gave me some resources for handling it.

Real Connections

We attend a very friendly church and I never seem to be able to connect to everyone I’d like. One thing I appreciated through the pandemic was a closer connection with the people we attended “home” church with. It’s some thing I am struggling to bring into “regular” church with me. There are so many more people to connect with.

It’s so easy to slip back into the:
“How are you?”
“Good, how are you?”
“Good. Have a good week.”
“You too.”
And move on to the next person.

However, it’s in those deeper connections that we can follow God’s instructions through Paul’s writings in

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

It’s difficult to encourage someone and build them up if you don’t know what’s going on in their life. A weekly “good” doesn’t cover it!

Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Yesterday I was blessed to hug a few necks, and have a few meaningful conversations. I know I left feeling encouraged and built up. Next, we went to lunch with a family we shared “home” church with. We’ve been missing the fellowship we had shared and our kids were missing the playtime they became used to.

I am convinced we need to teach our children to be encouragers and build others up, especially those outside of their circles. I keep being reminded that we need to not make assumptions about others, and just how easy that is to do. Did that person really mean to ignore you? Or are they bogged down with “life” and could use a friend (maybe you) to really be present for them and listen to what is going on in their life.

Don’t make assumptions about how people feel about you or think about you. So many times it is our own insecurities or our own inflated ego that has us thinking nobody likes us or everybody likes us 🙂 Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Be an encourager

Here are a few ways to encourage others:

  • Look for the good deeds/actions another person does, and then let them know you noticed.
  • Listen to what someone is sharing with you. Really listen (it’ll help with the other suggestions below). Remember to follow up with them too.
  • Offer scripture references that apply. I have a friend I always reach out to when I’m struggling with something because I can count on her to not only direct me back to scripture but offer at least one verse as a starting point too.
  • Offer to pray with and for them. It may be a little awkward if you aren’t used to praying with a friend, but I can tell you it is an amazing way to build someone up!
  • Cry with them, laugh with them…
  • Be present, don’t look at your phone, don’t be thinking about your “To Do” list, or lunch, just listen so that you are able to do the things above. (I’ve just realized this is very much like #2, maybe that means I really need to hear it, I’ll leave it here in case you need to hear it twice too.)

Practice, practice, practice…

The more we do these things the easier and more second nature it will become. Encouraging does not come easily to me. I am too much of a negative nelly introvert. I thank God for his grace, mercy, and patience!

Invite people to your home, share a cup of coffee, or tea, or a meal, and really get to know them. It is in these deeper connections that we can encourage others, and help ourselves grow. And, just like everything else in life, modeling it for our kids is the best way to teach them and hold ourselves accountable.

In what ways have you beeen encouraged?
How has someone built you up?
What are some of your favorite ways to encourage someone else?
Do you have an “encourager” role model?

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family. She's a recovering perfectionist who is far from perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

Trusting God in Life’s Storms

Trusting God in Life’s Storms

by | Jun 28, 2021 | Guest, One Blessed Momma

Have you ever experienced a deep agony, tragedy, or all around trying time in life that had you questioning whether God was trustworthy, kind, merciful, or loving?

Or, if you didn’t question any of those characteristics of God, did you struggle within your soul to find peace, hope, and rest?

I have….

Let me go back in time, before what I would consider the most difficult tragedy I have experienced so far in my 41 years.

Go back to 2001-2002. These were a couple of my college years, in which I began to feel angst, frustration, and anger toward God due to watching my beloved grandmother fight through her second bout of aggressive cancer. This time it had moved to her brain and took her down a slow, 4 year cycle toward her last breath that included loss of control of her muscular system, her ability to talk, her process of aging (she was 65 when she lost her battle, but looked as though she were 90), and her memory. The dementia was severe.

My heart hurt deeply. I admired my grandmother. She loved Jesus. She showed His love to anyone who crossed her path. She loved and served in spite of the personal heartaches she carried. She was my hero.

Although I can look back at her life and the godly fruits she displayed now, in 2001 I became angry at God and chose to rebel against all His good plans for our lives in hopes of somehow punishing Him. What a naive, selfish, and immature girl I was! During this period of my life, I deliberately disobeyed my Father in heaven and His good plan. I married someone He distinctively told me He did not want me to marry. In short, all of this led to me getting a divorce with two young boys in tow.

Thankfully, God is merciful and kind. He revealed my foolishness to me and opened my eyes to His sovereignty. I prayed wholeheartedly for forgiveness in my pride and told Him I would never again stray from His hold on my life. I trusted Him and understood, at that point and through His generous granting of wisdom, His plan is for me to grow and develop in all of life’s storms. His plan is for all of us to grow in Him and for His fruit to burst forth……… and seemingly, this happens most obviously through trials.

Fast forward to 2012. This year brought forth the deepest heartache I have yet to experience. By God’s grace, I met my current husband in 2010 and we were married in 2011. This time, despite my past failures, my marriage was blessed by all those around me, but most importantly by the Holy Spirit. I had so much peace about our union and knew God was going to use our marriage for my good. Little did I know how much refining would take place in me through our union and most notably through the great loss we would experience in 2012.

First, Joy

In early April 2012 we found out we were expecting our first child together. We were elated to add to our already blended family. We trusted God had blessed us with this child for His purposes. I won’t lie, like my previous two pregnancies, the first trimester and a bit into the second was pure agony with morning sickness all day, every day. When that had finally passed, we just enjoyed discovering we were blessed with a son and beginning to feel his wild movements in my growing belly. Our four older children (we each brought two beautiful people to our marriage) were excited to have another brother. From this point, the pregnancy moved forth perfectly and without any cause for alarm.

Next, tragedy, loss, and deep grief

At 37 weeks pregnant, the same gestation I gave birth to my firstborn, I awoke with a mild fever and stayed home from work. I had constant Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the day and chalked it up to the early stages of labor. That night, as my husband and I were laying in bed, I realized I hadn’t felt our Simon for some time. My husband tried to calm my nerves by saying it was probably the contractions. We decided to sleep and trust all would be well in the morning. When I woke the next morning, I still wasn’t feeling Simon move at all.

My husband had left for work with the clear message to call when I knew anything. I tried to get some sugary food into my system in hopes it would jolt my son awake. Nothing worked. I called my doctor’s nurse and she told me to go to the hospital immediately, that they would be awaiting the arrival of me and my husband. I called him to tell him what was going on and that he needed to meet me there.

On my drive in, I first called my mom and my mother-in-law to tell them what was going on to ask them to pray all was well with Simon. Then, I fought all the tears welling up within me from fear to get myself to the hospital. I begged God to make Simon come into this world alive on that drive. I told Him that I trusted Him to matter the outcome, but that I just didn’t know if I could handle tragic news. He heard me……. that’s what I know.

However, my prayer that Simon would leave my womb alive and screaming wasn’t answered with a yes. We arrived at the hospital to discover that our sweet son was no longer living. I was given the choice to be induced (I had been planning a Vbac delivery following my previous two c-sections) or to have another cesarean. We made the decision to move forward with a c-section as the induction would require a 48 hour time period and I just couldn’t handle the weight of the heartache in that amount of time.

The hospital staff prepared me for surgery and my room was already full of family, friends, and our pastor all praying for us. We went back to the operating room already wrought with grief and going through the motions. Our son was delivered in the most quiet of rooms. The doctors and staff were all heavy-hearted and empathizing with us. Simon was born into this world with a soul already in the arms of Jesus. He was beautiful and perfectly formed, but had suffered an obvious umbilical cord accident in the womb. We spent the next days, weeks and months in heavy grief.

The first week following Simon’s loss shook us to our core. My husband was kind to remind me that this wasn’t some sort of punishment from God. I believe God used him to bring this first reminder to me. I went through raw, gut wrenching sadness, anger, and questioning heavily that first week. The Holy Spirit kept bringing the words, “In this world you will have trouble…” to my mind. However, the rest of the scripture was vacant from my mind and I chose to dwell on that portion for a time, knowing it was what He had for me in the moment.

At one point, I cried out to God that I hated Him, then immediately told Him I knew He knew I didn’t mean that in my heart or my mind. Rather, I was feeling the need to express every emotion and thought I had to Him…. to get off my mind and chest all the heavy burdens waging war within me. It was in this that I began to understand what Jesus meant when He said,

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy leaden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Throughout the coming weeks, Jesus spoke to my heart through two other scriptures. The first was the full scripture following what He spoke to me in that first week.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The second scripture He laid upon my mind was

John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

What sweet reminders and truths from the God who created all of us, loves us, and wants us to know Him. When my heart began to doubt or question the fairness in losing my son, my sweet Heavenly Father was there to remind me of who He is and His deep love for me and Simon.

But, how? How do you trust Him after losing what is most precious?

Remember what I stated about giving Him every raw emotion and thought in that first week. Like the example of David in the Psalms, God wants ALL of us, not just us coming to Him when we think we have it all together. This is a step in trusting the One who created and planned for you. Talk to Him. Pour out your soul. Ask Him to reveal truth to you. Be willing to be quiet before Him so you can recognize His voice. Be willing to wait and remember that our Sovereign God’s timing is not our timing.

When you’re faced with tragic or difficult situations in this life, remember God’s teaching in

Matthew 7:7-8. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”

These words aren’t just for those who are seeking salvation. They are reminders to all of us that He will give us wisdom, peace, comfort, etc. when we seek Him and ask Him. All we need is to lay down our pride, even in the most challenging and heartbreaking moments of our lives, and humble ourselves before our God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, who loves us more than anything else in His creation.

I can speak from firsthand experience that He will follow through on the promises He makes in His Word. Seek Him, ask for help, and He will provide what you need through His Word and through the gracious people He has placed in your life.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for revealing Your truth to us and comforting us in our darkest hours. Thank you for your Word, which brings forth life and peace. Help us to be humble and come to You when we’re heavy laden with tragedy, difficulty, or grief. Give us your strength and wisdom.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

This song is a beautiful reminder and from a recently released album written by a compilation of artists and authors titled, Faithful. A culmination of the Faithful Project.

Faithful “The Detour”
I am here for any questions, comments, or conversations!

Meet Melissa!

Melissa is a follower of Christ and a friend to all. She is known for her ready smile and friendly conversation. Melissa teaches first grade and loves all of her students.

Melissa shares a blended family of 7 children with her husband, Amos, and resides in SW Colorado.

Father’s Day Week

Father’s Day Week

by | Jun 21, 2021 | Julia, One Blessed Momma

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all of the Father’s out there. Like Melinda and Mollie mentioned, Father’s come in so many different capacities and we are so thankful to those who step in when some cannot. I hope while we can share our experiences, we can encourage others along the way.

Personally, I and my girls are so thankful for my Father (their G-daddy) and my husband, the Father of my children.

My Father

My Father may not be a man of many words but his actions have always been consistent with who he is and how he feels about me. He always has encouraged me to grow mentally, physically, and most importantly spiritually because he believed life is about change. He always seemed to do well with change. I don’t know if it is because he is an entrepreneur and has to be fluid but any change that came our way he with my mother always searched for the good. They gave God all their faith, that God will provide and all they could do was continue to work hard, do what is right and have faith.

My Childhood

When I think back to my childhood, my dad took us on many adventures. Some near, close by to home, and some across the county. As a family, we almost made it to all 50 states. With my Dad’s family business we were able to travel to many states to get to the events. I was always so thankful he included us in these adventures and appreciated his importance in family time.

He was firm, yet soft in his delivery. I knew what he said went but also felt the overwhelming love he had for me. I am ultimately so thankful for my dad’s example of firmness, steadfastness, and unconditional love because it taught me what God expects from me and his love for me.

My Husband

My husband has always been my rock in raising our children. I’m so thankful for the discussion we had on our shared values in raising our children, before we got married and before we had children. Knowing we always have each other’s back is so pivotal in having consistency in raising children.

When I was pregnant with our second, he had to become a single parent when I had to get a cerclage done at the hospital. During the time I was in the hospital, he moved himself, our daughter, and our dog to my parents’ house. They were so helpful in creating a stable, safe home for our daughter throughout all this transition. Then a month later my water broke at 27 weeks I had our second daughter. He was a rock for me while in the hospital and throughout our whole 100 day, NICU stay. We cried together, prayed for our daughters together, and laughed together. When he held our 1 lb, 11 oz baby, for the first time my heart melted knowing, this is exactly what she needed to give her the strength to keep fighting.
I love watching him be a Daddy to our girls. He takes time for them after a long day’s work. He lets them come along and help him in his activities. He holds them, cares for them, hugs them, tells them he loves them, takes them on dates, plays with them and so much more. He is so loved by his little girls and I absolutely love watching them smile in awe when we visit him at work to drop off lunch.

Statistics

I remember back in college when I was studying to become a teacher there was one statistic that stuck out in my mind. It talked about how a Mother has an important role in the child’s development but if a Father reads to their child they would be more likely to become better readers themselves. The Father who play, nurture, and care for their children, raise children with higher IQs with better cognitive and language skills. When they’re involved and ask more questions it tends to build vocabulary and conversational skills.

“Babies who have fathers who are affectionate, respond quickly to their cries and other cues, and engage in loving play, are more securely attached to their fathers. Research shows that secure attachments have positive benefits that last into adulthood. Children who are securely attached do better academically; they are also more sociable and well-liked throughout early childhood as compared to children who do not have secure attachments.”

“New research shows that fathers may have an even greater impact on children’s language development than mothers. When fathers use more words with their children during play, children have more advanced language skills a year later. This is especially important because language skills are correlated with academic success.
The more time fathers spend in enriching, stimulating play with their child—such as playing pretend or sharing stories—the better the child’s math and reading scores are at 10 and 11 years old.”

AUTHOR
: Claire Lerner
,Contributor

Meet Julia!

Julia is a wife to her high-school sweetheart, a mother to two beautiful girls and a follower of Christ.   She loves crafting, teaching and is forever grateful for a God who is in control of all unknowns and thankful we can have a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Honor Your Father

Honor Your Father

by | Jun 14, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

Happy Father’s Day!

This blog is for mommas, you say?

You’re right!

But those daddies sure are important. Statistics show that kids with involved fathers in their lives are considerably less likely to end up involved in criminal activities and considerably MORE likely to retain their childhood faith.

WOW!

Don’t get me wrong, moms play a massive role in raising kids. My dad always told my brothers to be very careful who they chose to date because who you date is who you marry and who you marry is who raises your kids.

Moms generally spend more time with their kids than dads but that doesn’t diminish the lasting effects of daddy time.

Papa

I am incredibly blessed to have an outstanding dad. Growing up we called him, Papa. Now-a-days he usually goes by, Pop.

He is not the kind of dad who let his little girls paint his nails or curl his hair. He isn’t the dad that told us how pretty we were or how much he loved us. He isn’t the dad who cried when I got engaged-at least not that I saw.

When as a teenager I would say, “I am so fat!” he is the dad that would reply with, “If you think you’re fat then quit whining and do something about it!”

Tough love? Maybe.

The Dad He Is

He is the dad that taught his 7 kids how to work, and work hard. The dad who taught us how to ride a horse, change a tire, drive a car, irrigate a field, milk a cow, run a tractor and many, many other life skills. He taught us how to be kind and put others first. He taught to honor your parents, even when you don’t agree. How to respect your elders and help those in need.

He is the dad who encouraged us to get up early and go to bed on time.

He makes the best fried egg you’ll ever eat! Even though he doesn’t like making them over-hard he does it for me.

He is the dad that rescued me multiple times when my car died on the side of the road. The dad who helped build many projects at my house. The dad who always has good advice and knows how to fix EVERYTHING!

The dad who is a faithful follower of Jesus and has been an example of God’s love. The dad who showed me how to study the Bible and pray. The dad who encourages my relationship with the Lord above everything else.

I think he is the single most influential person in my life. Aside from my husband, he is the one I call when I am stressed.

He is my Papa.

The things he has done and the support he has given to my family is more than I can possibly describe or thank him for. Whenever I say, “Thank you” to him he always has the same reply, “That’s what Pops are for.”

My Husband

I have been equally blessed with a loving husband as the father to my children.

Trevor is the hardest worker I know. He works a full time job and runs our cattle ranch.

He comes home from work and works some more. 7 days a week.

He is a very busy man but there is a chunk of time he tries to ALWAYS keep for his kids.

Bedtime

Ever since our oldest son was a toddler Trevor has put the kids in bed.

Most of the time he still has chores and projects outside to finish but he makes a point to stop and come inside to spend time with his family. He tucks them in bed after many hugs and kisses and heads back outside to keep working.

That time with our kids means the world to them and I appreciate the break! More than a break I appreciate the huge effort he puts forth to be present and involved with our kids

The patience and love he shows to me and our children is often undeserved.

Trevor and I are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary later this summer so be looking for more on my AMAZING man and our beautiful love story.

Our Heavenly Father

Just like many of us have great fathers and husbands we ALL have a heavenly father who loves us more and better than any human can.

2 Corinthians 6:18 “And I will be a father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

Psalm 103:13 “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

Dads have a HUGE influence and responsibility in the family. Some men don’t own up to their responsibilities and some men are shut down by the one person in their lives that should always have their back, their wife.

I have shut down my husband more than once when I didn’t agree with the way he did or said something to the kids. I was out of place. My job is to support and pray for him as a christian, man, husband and father.

Does that mean he is always right? That he always makes good decisions? No, but God knew what he was doing when he gave HIM the responsibility.

I like the saying, “When you’re on your knees God has a clear path to smack your husband.”

Use every moment you can to pray for, love and support your childrens’ dad. It’s not always easy but it is worth it.

This Father’s Day thank your dad. Thank your husband. Thank them for everything they do and have done for you and for your kids. To them, they may just be doing their job but their job is so big and important that to us, it is everything.

There is a country song that reminds me of the awesome dads in my life. Whenever I hear it I end up in tears. Written by a dad, the chorus goes like this:

That’s my job. That’s what I do. Everything I do is because of you. To keep you safe with me. That’s my job you see.

As my dad would say, “That’s what Pops are for.”

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Fathers are a Blessing

Fathers are a Blessing

by | Jun 7, 2021 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

For the month of June we will be celebrating fathers. We are taking turns sharing our fathers and husbands with you. Please join us in our celebration, we would love to hear about the special dads in your life. (Keep reading all the way to the bottom to learn more.)

Father’s Day has brought up some weird emotions for me since I became a mom in 2004. I spent 6 years feeling like I failed my son because he only had “substitutes”. I am so grateful to those men who influenced him in those first years. Pappy, Grandpa, Papa, Kirk, Trevor, Aaron, I see their influences in who my first child is.

My husband, my baby brother, my dad, my big brother, and my brother-in-law

Then when he was 5 years old, we met a new guy. He knew how to win my son over – fishing and shooting guns at Bass Pro. Watching Chad be daddy to his kids and interact with my kid won me over and we were married by the end of the year. Watching my husband be daddy to all 6 of our kids is one of my favorite things!

 

The first fishing trip with the “new guy” and his kids

They say you marry your dad, and my mom and I have laughed over how similar my husband and dad are.

For the Love of God

Both men make church and serving God a priority in their lives and a priority for their children. This is something people can see in many facets of their lives

Growing up I remember always being at church, it was always a priority for our family. We invited friends. Any time the building was open, we were there. One of my fondest memories of my childhood is hearing my dad whistle as he worked. Most often it was “This World Is Not My Home“. This is something I remember my grandpa doing as well when we would go to visit.

My husband makes church a priority for our family also. And it is not just to attend on Sunday mornings and then get on with our lives. Church and God are a big part of our life. My husband “preaches” to anyone who works for him. He owns his own business and it is his ministry. He invites customers, employees, anyone who will listen, to join us at church. He also shares how God has been a part of his life and how he has shown Himself over the years. Several employees and customers have listened to him, and come to church with us. A couple have even stuck around.

 

This is a picture of my husband and two of our sons, it was the babies first week at church. I love watching him be daddy!

Seeing the opportunities for teachable one-on-one moments

One of my favorite memories with my dad is making breakfast with him. I was an early riser, so that meant I got to be with my dad all by myself. I felt so special when he would share his secrets for making great eggs with me. I still think of him as I make breakfast for my family.

My husband is so patient with our kids. When he has a task they’re interested in, he takes the time to teach them how to do the task. One of my favorite pictures is from an afternoon brake change.

 Work, work, work

I grew up on a ranch, actually a few different ranches. I treasure the experiences that gave us. My dad worked hard. But because his work was at our home we got to work with him. I was the second oldest and a girl so generally my older brother was the one who helped Dad.

However, I remember one particular occasion I was needed. I was terrified to drive my dad’s Bobcat skidsteer, but that was the task at hand. I drove it until I got to a hill, then I FROZE. So Dad climbed onto the attachment and drove the skidsteer down the hill for me. Then I continued on to where we were working that day. We were clearing trees out. I was taking down the smaller ones and my dad had a bigger machine for the bigger trees. One important role dads fill is to teach us to do the hard things. Sometimes we need a little push to venture out of our comfort zones. However, once we accomplish those tasks, we are given a boost in self-esteem. I was able to drive that skidsteer home!

Our kids love to go to work with Dad, at least until they get older 🙂 My husband allows them to help as much as possible. Teaching them to use power tools, pushing my comfort zone as to when I think they should. They’ve learned to use hammers and screwdrivers, wrenches, how to grill, how to fish and shoot guns.

Time for fun

Although the men in my life are hard working and spend much of their time working to provide for their families. They do find time to have some fun!

Family time was important as we were growing up. We would ride horses, fish, hunt, hike, and go camping as a family.

 

My dad getting a horse ready to ride for my daughter

My husband is the fun one, just ask my kids. Just today, we spent the afternoon on the creek. This is one of our favorite family fun activities. Some days we just go splash around. Other times we float down the river in canoes, kayaks, and tubes. He has also helped the kids build a tree house. He has coached basketball. He built a “supersled” and loves sharing it with the kids. These are just a few of the ways my husband makes sure fun is infused in our family life.

I am One Blessed Momma!

The dads and grandpas and uncles I am surrounded by have made me the mom I am. I am so grateful for how God has shown up in my life through these men.

I started this post with how I felt like I failed my son because he didn’t have a dad for the first 5 years of his life. If you find yourself in the same position, no matter the reason, don’t allow yourself to sit in feelings of failure.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV

Even if you messed up and that’s the reason you are a single mom, God offers forgiveness. Take it, repent of whatever your part is, and move forward. If you sit in the failure feelings and the bitterness, you can’t be the mom God created you to be.

Some of the best advice I ever received was to not be both mom and dad. You aren’t, and you can’t be. Include male role models in your child(ren)’s life – grandpas, uncles, friends; find new ones if you need to. Don’t be negative about their dad in front of your children. Your kids don’t need the drama. If you need to vent, find a friend, not your child.

Celebrate the Dad in your life

It’s a giveaway for dad!

Tell us a story about a dad in your life. What makes him special?

The giveaway runs June 7th-18th, 2021 at midnight EST. We look forward to reading all entries submitted by the deadline.

The winner will be announced on Father’s Day, June 20th. By submitting your nomination, you grant permission to OneBlessedMomma.com to share your submission publicly.

The winning father will receive:

13 + 10 =

Minimalist wallet
with custom initials

$35.00 Value

16″ Axe and Knife Throwing Log Target

$37.98 Value

Man Glitter

$10.00 Value

Firewood Carrier
Chop Your own Wood & It Warms You Twice

$49.99 Value

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family. She's a recovering perfectionist who is far from perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family