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Giving God the First Fruits of Our Time

Giving God the First Fruits of Our Time

by | Feb 8, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

“The first of the first fruits of your land you shall bring into the house of the Lord your God.”
Exodus 23:19a

God told the Israelites to give Him the first of the first fruits. He wanted their BEST.

Similarly, today He asks for our hearts and one way we show that is by how we spend our time.

I have to put on my steel toe boots to even write this!

I am SO guilty of putting my worship of God on the very back burner. You know what generally happens after a little while of doing this? I become sad. Down in the dumps. Completely overwhelmed with the 47 million things I am trying to juggle and still not accomplishing anything meaningful.

One thing I have learned through my christian walk is that, most everything God asks of us is for our own good. He created us and knows us intimately.

“For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb.”
Psalm 139:13

He knows EXACTLY how and why we function and think the way we do. He knows what we need and loves and cares for us more than we can comprehend!

It may seem a little selfish for God to ask for our best but He knows when we give Him our best our hearts are surrendered to Him and we can then fully embrace His perfect peace that passes all understanding.

As moms, it is SO easy to give all of our time away. Kids need fed, clothed, washed, taught, loved, fed again and on and on and on. You add in ANY extra curricular activity (as my kids have gotten older its much harder to avoid these!) and we are over the top!

Many moms, (myself included) have jobs outside the home as well. That takes time away from keeping your house from looking like the 7 dwarfs haven’t had Snow White over for a couple years.

Oh! And there is your husband. That guy likes some attention every now and then too. Once you add all these together (plus, most everyone has other commitments they are fulfilling as well) you just plain DON’T have time for God!

If this could be a description of you, you are not alone! I am driving this crazy bus of over committed, over caffeinated, overwhelmed mommas.

It’s time to get back to giving God the first fruits of my time. This will look different for each momma, depending on lifestyle.

I want to share a few ways I am choosing to honor God with my time.

1. Say, NO!

This is an incredibly difficult but very impactful ability to have. You DO NOT have to volunteer for every committee, sign up for every elective, be at every function or every extended family meal. I’m not saying, be a moocher or cut all family ties, just set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say, “No” or “Not this time”. Use discernment.

2. Ask For Help.

Some people are going to judge me for this and that is fine. It’s OK (more than OK!) to have your kids help you!

Ranch life is a very, all-hands-on-deck type of lifestyle. Our kids work and work hard. They have chores to do outside and zones to keep clean inside. AND, (it gets worse!) I ask my older kids to help me with my younger kids.

You know what?

They LOVE it!

Kids thrive with responsibility! We do try to balance work and play for them. They have certain chores that they do just because they are part of this family and other chores (like their zones) that are “paying” jobs.

Being able to delegate some responsibility not only trains them to be contributing members of society, it also frees up some time for you!

3. Be Intentional.

Now that we are saying, no, and freeing up time. The next step is being intentional about using our time. Maybe you have 30 minutes after school that the kids are snacking or playing and you don’t have a lot of distractions. DO NOT pull your phone out and spend that time comparing yourself to all the “picture perfect” moms on social media. Be diligent about spending that time in prayer, study and worship.

If you are a morning person, (or even if you’re not!) try getting up 30 minutes earlier to get some God time in. Use some time before bed to connect with God. Wherever and whenever you can carve that time out, DO IT!

 

4. Have A Plan.

Having a study I am working on (like this one) or a reading plan in place (such as this one) makes my study time so much more fulfilling! It also gives me more motivation to stay on a track.

Even if you simply pick a book of the bible and read through it, taking notes and looking up things you don’t understand. Just knowing you are reading “Ephesians 2” today, can be very helpful.

Ultimately, it’s not the method we use but the motive we have.

The Lord deeply craves our heart. Our WHOLE heart and He is the only one who can make our hearts whole.

Trust your heart to Him, honor Him with your time. You will never regret the makeover He gives.

“Casting all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

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Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

But without love…

But without love…

by | Feb 1, 2021 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

Welcome to February, the month of love. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that without love we are but a clanging cymbal, we are nothing, and we gain nothing. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a clanging cymbal! I want to gain something for the work I put in, even if it’s not here on earth but is a heavenly reward. (Does this make me selfish?)

Do you serve others?

I have been contemplating this a lot in the context of serving. Are you a servant? Do you naturally see the ways people need to be served and then jump in and serve them? I have to say, this is a struggle for me. I tend to stay so wrapped up in my own “survival” that I don’t notice how I might serve those around me. All too often, I realize after the fact, I coulda, shoulda.

I have been blessed to help a few people out and I always am grateful for that blessing. I believe God has used these circumstances to further mold and shape me.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer the molding and shaping that occurs through service to others over the hard life lessons when I’m too stubborn to pay attention to the gentle lessons God is trying to teach me 😊

Jesus – God or Servant?

 

Philippians 2 tells us he is both God and servant.

though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

Philippians 2:6-7

Jesus served the people he was surrounded by. In the gospels (Mark 6 and Mark 8) it is recorded that Jesus fed first 5,000 and then 4,000. They came to him. They followed him for 3 days and Jesus did not want to send them home hungry. The disciples told Jesus to send them away so they could get food. Jesus said no, we’ll feed them (I’m paraphrasing here).

John 13 finds Jesus serving his disciples by washing their feet. I don’t know about you, but to me this is a BIG deal. 12 men, wearing sandals, travel mode of walking, on dusty roads. I’m not looking to get anywhere near those stinky smelly feet! But our Lord and Savior did. He could have taken the role of an earthly king with all of its perks, but that’s not why he was here. What a great example of servanthood he is for us!

For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

Luke 22:27

A Servant Heart

As mommas, wives, sisters, and friends we are constantly given opportunities to serve those around us. My prayer is that I will be aware of the opportunities God is giving me.

I have been surrounded by servant-hearted people my entire life. My mom, grandparents, and aunts have all been wonderful examples to me. My husband is also very much a servant. He will do anything for anyone. I am grateful for these people in my life who show me how to be more Christlike.

When you serve others, are you serving them with love and joy? Or are you complaining the whole time about how hard or stressful it is? Or how stinky their feet are? I don’t think I have to point out which attitude is the right attitude 😊 I know I have been guilty of serving in misery rather than in love. For me, this is something that takes a lot of self-talk. I have to remind myself that I want to serve the people and that I want to serve God. Serving others is something we have tried to model for our children and involve our children in.

Involve your children

How can you involve your kids?

  • Take them with you to serve
  • Let them know why you are serving.
    Why does this person need help?
    Were they just in the hospital?
    Do they have a new baby?
    Was there a death in their family?
    This can open up so many important conversations with our children!
  • Have them help with a menu and preparing food
  • Have them help shop, explain why you are buying some things. Equip your children with the knowledge so that they can duplicate the process on their own as adults.
  • Don’t forget to show them the joy and love going into the process! If we aren’t doing it because of love then why are we?

Over the last week, we were blessed to be able to help in 3 different ways. All of my kids helped to make food and load it in the van and we kept talking about the precious new baby that we were taking food to (ok we were going to see the new precious baby and take food to her momma and daddy and big brother).

In a 3rd way we helped, my 7-year-old learned some things I may have not been quite ready for him to learn about the harsh realities of life. However, I know that it will serve him as he learns to have empathy for others.

There are people hurting all around us, all we have to do is be open enough to see those people and pray to God for the wisdom, strength, means, and courage to help others. A man we were blessed to help, shared with us that his late wife always said, “I may help someone who doesn’t need it, but that’s between them and God. If I quit helping people because of that person who didn’t need it, then what about the 4 or 5 who did need it and I turned them away?”

 

We have been blessed by the service of others!

I have had 4 babies, and with each baby, we were blessed by waves of food from family and friends.

Last June I was in the hospital for a couple of days and we were surrounded by the love of church family. They picked up our children and fed them, and brought us food after I was out of the hospital. Even making special food for me because I couldn’t swallow. 

As important as it is to model servanthood to our children, it is also important to model gratitude. We were grateful to the people who brought us food and now we get to pass that on to others. 

We have all been given spiritual gifts. Some are stronger in servanthood than others. Some are more evangelical than others, etc. If you don’t know your spiritual gifts I would recommend taking this test and reading Spiritual Giftedness. This book helps you understand how to develop and use them.

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family. She's a recovering perfectionist who is far from perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

God Will Make a Way

God Will Make a Way

by | Jan 25, 2021 | Guest, One Blessed Momma

Hello beautiful blessed mommas!

I’m new to this crew of lovely ladies, and actually very new to this momma crew all together!

My son, Benaiah (pronounced Ben-I-ah), will be one year old next month! I can’t believe how fast he has grown! A little bit about me and my family, my name is Mikayla Cogburn, (yes like Rooster Cogburn) I’m 25 years old, I live in a very small town in beautiful Southwest Colorado. I’ve been married to my best friend for almost 4 years now and together we have the cutest baby boy in the whole world! (I may be a little biased.) I am a doula and a childbirth educator as well as a mom, wife, auntie, and sister.

My husband, Aaron (not Rooster) just finished his certifications and started working at our local fire department as a firefighter and EMT, he has worked so hard and continues to work so hard for our little family. He is one great husband and Daddy. 
I have had quite the interesting intro to motherhood, with having a baby in the year 2020! (Which is the year, I think we can all agree, that we’d like to never repeat.)  it was a hard year to be sure, but 2020 was also a true Testament to our family of just how GOOD God really is, even when we are surrounded by the worst circumstances.
Fortunately for us, God’s goodness isn’t dependent on the circumstances we are in, He is good, just because that’s who He is. And He will always make a way for His people, no matter what.
Isaiah 43:19 “Behold I am doing a new thing; do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and Rivers in the desert.”
My mantra for 2020 was, and still is, God will provide. It was a year full of tests for our family, (and I know we weren’t the only ones.) We had zero dollars in our bank account, a brand new baby, and Aaron was in the middle of fire Academy and working every other day in Albuquerque, 3-hours away, just so we could scrape by on bills.
Then when Benaiah was two weeks old we realized that he wasn’t getting enough milk from me, and he actually started to lose weight. (Talk about a recipe for stress.)
I won’t go into all of that or every little thing that happened last year, let’s just say that this theme stayed very consistent for the whole year, right up to the very end.

After my son was born, I felt like a rockstar, like I could conquer absolutely anything, climb any mountain, overcome any obstacle.

Basically I was sitting on top of the world!

But as soon as I started having issues with breastfeeding, that feeling was replaced by an opposing feeling of total failure.

I thought, this is one thing I’m supposed to be able to do, what’s wrong with me? I felt totally worthless, and I know I asked God over and over again to just help me be able to nurse my baby. But God didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted.

I couldn’t breastfeed my baby exclusively the way I wanted to, the way I planned to, the way I made.

But God sometimes makes a way where we didn’t think to look at first.

My midwife and friends came through with lots of donor milk for Benaiah, and gifting us formula when God knew we didn’t have any money for it. My son never went hungry and he continued to gain weight at great rates, going from the 17th percentile to the 34th in his first 3 days on a bottle, and now, 11 months later, my chunky little boy weighs 25 pounds, is more than 30 inches tall, and is wearing 18 month clothes. I think he’s getting plenty to eat, and his growth is definitely not stunted!

God provided, God made a way for me.

Motherhood is messy, life is messy. So often all we see is the mess we are in, and not God’s Way through the mess.

How can we possibly see the way He has made in the middle of the mess we are in?

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path known.”
Psalms 119:105 “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”

The answer is to talk to God about our mess and surrender it to Him, to look to his word for guidance and Hope, and then to be still and listen; waiting for the peace of God to come, and to allow ourselves to focus on that peace, rather than the mess all around us.

John 16:33 says that we are guaranteed to have trouble, but that Jesus himself is already conquered it all, he paved the way and that way is him.

In the Gospels, there is an account of Jesus walking on water towards the boat His disciples were in. Walking on water is a feat in and of itself! But the water was rough, waves crashing all around the boat, lightning flashing, and rain pouring down. The circumstances couldn’t have been worse. And yet, Peter, a zealous disciple of Jesus, got out of the boat, the only safety human eyes could see, and he walked on the water towards Jesus.

Good ending right? Well, as most of you know, that’s not the end to the story. Just like us, Peter got distracted, he started noticing that he was walking through choppy, rough water, he started feeling how heavy the rain was, his eyes caught the lightning, and suddenly he was no longer walking on the water towards Jesus, he was in the middle of an unforgiving sea struggling not to drown.

And he did exactly what we have to do, and what I did so many times over the last 11 months, he cried out to Jesus and said “Lord, Save me!”

Jesus walked over, took him by the hand, and pulled him out of the water.

Jesus is calling us to walk in his way, to walk on top of storm, not to be overwhelmed by it. The only way to do that, is to never take our eyes off of Him, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other until, one day, we reach his waiting arms. And when we get distracted by the mess around us, He is waiting to catch us, wipe our tears, and help us to keep on walking.

Meet Mikayla!

I am Mikayla. Mommy to my adorable 11 month old baby boy, wife to my incredible firefighter hubby, birth worker and aspiring doula. I love my saviour and my family and am very passionate about helping women to feel empowered during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum. My goal is to be an encouragement to the mommas in my life through sharing my experiences and offering a loving and supportive place for them to share their stories and be heard. God bless you in this season of life and may His perfect peace rule your hearts. 

Colossians 3:14-15 “And above all these things put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”

5 Indoor Activities

5 Indoor Activities

by | Jan 18, 2021 | Julia, One Blessed Momma

It’s winter time and in the Northeast it can get pretty cold.   Sometimes just too cold to spend more than 20-30 minutes outside at a time.  So, we have to come up with indoor activities that will get my children’s bodies and minds moving enough to be able to fall asleep at night.  Also, like many there are no bible classes for our children and as it has always been important to teach our children at home it is now more than ever so important that they get their bible at home.  So, along with these activities are ideas on how to incorporate bible stories to teach to your children.  These can be as basic or in-depth as the age of your child allows. Below are 5 simple indoor activities that keep my children engaged mentally and physically.

 

1. Bath Time:

ANY time of the day.   Have a cranky baby? Bath time.  Messy toddler? Bath time.  Fighting siblings? Bath time.  Add some bubbles, cups and bowls, throw in a few plastics animals and you have a great time.     Bath time in general is great for hand/eye coordination (using cups to pour), sensory (hot or cold water, smell of soap, sound of water pouring), color recognition (only using blue toys), cause and effect (what happens when I splash in the water- it gets in my eyes), and float and sink.  After they have played a little and let out a little energy, take the time to share with them a bible story.  Jonah perhaps. So, remove the extra toys and use a boat, a person, a fish, the number 3 to help them focus on the story.

Click to learn Story of Jonah

Click to learn a Jonah Song

Looking for a bath time toys? Friends of ours just started their own Bath Toy Subscription: @bubblesandjoycompany on Instagram and https://bubblesandjoy.com

2. Obstacle Course:

Use majority of your house for this one.  Take the pillows off the couch and bed, use the kitchen table, beds, scooters, balls, baskets, etc.  Get creative! Have them crawl over the couch cushions, under the kitchen table, around the carpet, jumping over crayons, building a tower of ten blocks (you could draw or print numbers or designs you want them to emulate), etc.  This is probably the best one for gross-motor and getting their energy out.   They are using physical: fine and gross motor, mental: building and counting blocks, emotional: helping another person.  For the bible lesson, I chose the Good Samaritan.   If someone fall or gets hurt this is a great time to practice “being the Good Samaritan.  If you only have one child, take turns with your child being the one hurt and the good Samaritan.

 

Click to learn the story of The Good Samaritan

3. Sensory Bin:

These can be filled with any base: sand, rice, beans, cotton balls, water, wrapping paper, ribbon, water beads, the options are endless.  Then you add the details like letters, numbers, animals.  A great resource for sensory bins is @busytoddler.  I love how open ended this one is.  You can fill a sensory bin with any items and it create a story.  For example, you could throw in animals and a boat and you have items to talk about Noah’s ark.  You could throw in numbers, plant/tree, star, animal, man, and you have days of creation.   If you use water, you can wash dishes or baby dolls and talk about baby Moses.  Don’t forget to make sure you are watching and sensory bin is developmentally safe for the child.

Click to learn the story of Moses

 

4. Blocks/Magnatiles:

If you haven’t seen Magnatiles, they are worth the investment (there are off brands on amazon and other sites, I have even seen them at Aldi).  They are plastic shapes that contain magnets that help them stick together.   You can build very simple designs to more intricate as they get older.   They learn stability, patience, shapes, colors, counting, etc.  You could print out pictures of city buildings or rural and suburban houses and have them copy the shape.
For the bible lesson I chose, Joshua and the Battle of Jericho.  Grab some people (toy or human), a toy trumpet (or make one using a paper towel roll or good old fashion paper, rolled up).

 

Click to learn the story of Joshua

Click to learn the song, Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho

 

5. Homemade Play-dough:

Check out our instagram page @one.blessedmomma and on Melinda’s post she gives a recipe of how to make your own play-dough.  If you have a young one you can place the play-dough in a gallon size ziplock baggy, tape it down and let them push down and squish it.  If you are able to be right there beside them, feel confident to let them explore the actual play-dough.   As they get older you can incorporate more “tools”.  This doesn’t have to be anything special.  You can use plastic spoons, forks, knives, plastic animals, cookie cutters and plastic straws to roll out the dough.  All things that could be found in your own kitchen.  You don’t need to buy anything extra.   My girls also enjoy using silicone cupcake liners and candles to pretend to make cupcakes.  If you have letter cookie cutters you could make their name or just simply practice letter recognition.   If you don’t have the ABC cookie cutters you can roll small pieces into snakes and shape accordingly.  See FREEBIE below! The Bible lesson with Play-dough could be Joseph.  He was squashed by his brothers, molded by God through patience and became something beautiful.  He also had a coat of many colors.

Click to learn the story of Joseph

 

Melinda’s Play-Dough Recipe:

Download your free printable

ABC PLAY-DOUGH ACTIVITY SHEETS

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Meet Julia!

Julia is a wife to her high-school sweetheart, a mother to two beautiful girls and a follower of Christ.   She loves crafting, teaching and is forever grateful for a God who is in control of all unknowns and thankful we can have a peace that surpasses all understanding.

New Year’s Focus

New Year’s Focus

by | Jan 11, 2021 | Mollie, One Blessed Momma

Hello 2021!

I know for many people, leaving 2020 feels like a relief. 2020 was a challenging year for sure! However, I am choosing to look for the silver lining. 

Let’s go back a year to January 2020. No, even further than that. June of 2019. I celebrated my 28th birthday and was getting ready to deliver my 5th child (getting ready? Who am I kidding? I WAS ready!!). I was feeling, shall we say, overwhelmed! I started realizing I was being pulled in too many different directions. I have 6 siblings and we grew up as a super close-knit family. They are an AMAZING blessing but I realized I had never made a clear transition from being the big sister who lived at home to the big sister who had a husband and kids of her own. I was still trying to be as involved in each of my siblings’ lives as I had been, trying to be everything to everyone. I realized I had been prioritizing my siblings over the needs of my own little family. 

I prayed that the Lord would guide me to make the right decisions and find balance. (For more on making good decisions, check out Melinda’s blog here)

A few months later I was listening to a podcast that was talking about New Year’s focus instead of resolutions. This family focused on one character trait each year and every decision they made that year was filtered through that lens. Wow! This idea sounded great! We prayed that the Lord would reveal the most predominant area in our lives that needed to be worked on. After much prayer we truly felt the Lord had put on our heart to spend the year Intentionally focusing on our little family. 

The Covid pandemic actually aided in this focus. With everything shut down we spent a lot more time with just our family. The kids and I built a significant amount of fence, gardened together, raised ducks, irrigated, put up hay and worked on our yard landscaping. We played a lot and spent a great deal more time studying God’s word together. 

There were still many situations that arose and we would have to prayerfully consider the options, through the lens of family time.

Looking back, I can clearly see the Lord’s blessing over our endeavor in so many ways. Some of them seemed incredibly stress filled and painful at the time, but I can now see that God’s hand was in it all. 

After much prayer we have decided our focus for 2021 will be Family Meals.

To some of you this may seem easy and almost silly, but to me, this is a real struggle. Trying to make sure I am fixing 3 meals a day and making those meals as healthy as possible pushes me to my limits! Too often I don’t prioritize meals. I am busy working on other things and don’t stop to cook. I have found a few things that I know are gonna help me succeed!

1. I want my kids to learn how to cook so we are building off of something we started last year.

Thursday nights we plan to always be home and spend the night playing games or watching a movie together. Every week, one kid plans the supper and the activity. They choose the meal and do most of the cooking. Obviously, the younger ones have lots of supervision. This was fun last year and we look forward to expanding the tradition. The reason we chose Thursday nights was because the weekend evenings is when most other events are planned. We knew there would be more times that we would have stuff we had to do on the weekends so we chose to set ourselves up for success. We still have times we have to say no to things, but it’s usually things that are not as big a deal.

2. Making some meals ahead of time.

Crock-pot, instant-pot and freezers are wonderful time savers! There are so many meals that can be thrown together in the morning in a crock-pot. There are also many wonderful meal plans out there with grocery lists already put together. I especially love this blog The Family Freezer. She has lots of great ideas and meal plans. It is so nice to grab a bag out of the freezer and throw it in the crock-pot or instant-pot, knowing it is a healthy, delicious meal you prepared ahead of time.

3. Breakfast is the hardest meal for me!

Especially on school mornings. I have been trying to be very intentional about having SOMETHING for breakfast. Even if it’s just oatmeal and toast. An easy thing to do is cook up (Or buy pre-cooked) breakfast meats. You can refrigerate and reheat them very easily and quickly on the stove. Even if you have cold cereal but you add a side of bacon or sausage, that at least adds protein!

These are 3 things I have already implemented for the year. I would love to hear what ways you are looking to change or improve this year!

I also wanted to leave a list of resources that greatly helped me this past year to keep my ultimate life focus, to serve the Lord.

1. The Armor of God study by Priscilla Shirer

This study is FANTASTIC! I highly recommend this. The best part is that she has resources for adults, teens, older kids and younger kids so the whole family can be working on the same study! You can find her books on Amazon using this link. We may make a commission if you use the link at no extra cost to you. Thank you!

2. Focus on the Family app

This app is one I have enjoyed for years. They have so many helpful resources and broadcasts that can really encourage you whatever season of life you are in.

3. Daily Audio Bible app

This is another excellent way to get a daily dose of God’s word! This app has really encouraged me throughout the year.

4. Prayer Journaling

Prayer journaling is something I have done for about 10 years, and it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly helpful this one small thing is.

I’ll end by saying that life is certainly uncertain. Even when we think we have a clear plan and path for our life there are so many things that can change it. This scripture is one that I keep at the forefront of my mind. Jesus says in John 16:33 “These things have I spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Meet Mollie

 

Mollie is a lover of Jesus above all. She loves her husband and family and enjoys gardening, teaching, piano, riding, and farming. She lives in SW Colorado with her husband and five kids.

Learn more about Mollie and her family

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

by | Jan 3, 2021 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Some are life-altering, some are inconsequential and most are somewhere in between. How many decisions have you made today?
When to get up? How many times to hit the snooze button? What clothes to wear? Whether to get dressed at all? Sometimes we don’t even realize the decisions we’ve made.  Sometimes we feel out of control of our lives, but all we need to do is take back some of these decisions we haven’t been actively making.

 

What are some decisions you need to quit making while on auto-pilot?

There are 5 steps to making a decision:

  • Presented with a choice
  • Make the decision
  • Evaluate
  • The aftermath
  • Move on

Some decisions are quick and you don’t even realize you are moving through the steps.

1. Alarm goes off- you have a choice to make.
2. Do you turn it off and get up or hit snooze?
3. Evaluate – did you make the right choice? Or do you have regrets?
4. The aftermath – Your day is off to a good start at the time you’ve planned OR you hit snooze too many times and now you’re 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour behind?
5. Move on – are you wallowing in the mess you’ve made or are you making the best of it and doing the next right thing?

Some decisions are much more complicated and each step will take some time. Hours, days, weeks…

What job to take? Will you work? Where to live? How many kids to have?

Faced with a choice

There are daily choices we have to make. There are bigger life-altering decisions we have to make. Sometimes it’s clear we have a choice to make and sometimes we have been on auto-pilot for so long we don’t realize there are choices we can make.

If you’ve been on auto-pilot or in “survival mode” for so long you are oblivious to the choices you’re not making, this is your nudge to take a look at the things you can take control of. You may be surprised at how actively making a few decisions gives you new energy for life.

If you are a momma who understands just how daunting some of the daily decisions are, please know you are not alone. Know you don’t have to stay in this hard place, but you do have to take steps to get out (baby steps count). I would recommend finding a friend to cheer you on and pray with you.

If you’ve been in survival mode for so long you don’t know who to reach out to, you can reach out to me. How can I pray for you? What small steps or accomplishments can I celebrate with you? Did you put on your cleanest pair of dirty pants instead of staying in jammies? Amazing!

Make a choice

I was just told that George Washington has made more decisions since being on the coin than when he was alive (coin flip). Some decisions can be made with a coin flip, even if it’s just showing you which choice you really want. Some choices are a little more challenging.

If you assign an option to heads and an option to tails, then flip the coin you’ve made a choice. Now you probably don’t want to make major life decisions this way. However, sometimes the coinflip can help you realize which option you actually want.

If you land on heads but realize you really wanted tails, well then you’ve still made a decision. You now know which one you actually want. I learned this trick from Valerie Young.

For more in-depth, large decisions other methods may be necessary. Our pros and cons are shaped by our world view and moral standards, as Christians, this means we should be relying on the Bible and prayer. Does the Bible tell us which job to take? Or which house to buy? No, but it can help us set the priorities that help us determine which job or house will fit our lives the best.

Evaluate

Now that the decision has been made, was it the right one? They say hindsight is 20/20. How will you decide if you made the right decision? Do you go back to your pros and cons list?

The Aftermath

If you made a good decision, this is the easy part. CELEBRATE!

Unfortunately, if your decision was not right this is when it starts to get tough. I would encourage you to take a breath. Say a prayer.

Who else was affected?

Are you the only one affected by this decision? Unfortunately, you generally aren’t, so identify those other people.

Make amends

It is so important to acknowledge how people have been affected by our choices and then apologize or otherwise make it right.

Assess

How did things go wrong? What do you need to do to make it right?

Move on

There is always another decision to make, so we have to move on. Don’t let the last decision determine the next. Make sure you are doing the next right thing.

You are not allowed to wallow in the misery which was created by the last decision 🙂 I said so LOL

I always use the analogy of the potty training toddler who decides to poop their pants, remembers “oh yeah I’m not in diapers anymore.” and then hides so they aren’t found out. They’ve already made the mess, but instead of going to mom or dad for help they just sit in it. What does that do? It makes the mess bigger and possibly more painful. Don’t be a poopy pants toddler. Acknowledge what you’ve done, clean up the mess (get help if you need it), and be more conscious of your future decisions.

That’s what making good choices comes down to. You have to be conscious of the choices you’re making. Each choice you make has to be held to a standard. As a Christian, my standard is the Bible. However, some decisions are beyond what is actually in the Bible, but the standards for life are there.

I have recently made some life changes (and continue to take steps to make more) because I realized I am not the mom or wife I planned on being. Some things by Biblical standards and some just my own standards. We are all flawed humans on a journey. Make sure to offer grace and mercy to all of the others on this journey with you.

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family. She's a recovering perfectionist who is far from perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family