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Gathering Around the Table of Wisdom

Gathering Around the Table of Wisdom

by | Jan 26, 2023 | Guest, One Blessed Momma

Mollie Cundiff, Julia Trayer and Melinda Ashley are the resident bloggers here at One Blessed Momma. Our intention, since we began in October 2020, is to help women build up their households as is seen in Proverbs 14:1. We want to inspire and empower moms to build up their homes and enjoy the blessings of motherhood.

Each month we invite a guest to join us and encourage the mommas we are blessed to reach through Facebook, Instagram, and our blog.

We have been blessed by many guest moms joining us in encouraging others. For 2023 we want to focus on the knowledge and wisdom that comes from conversations with veteran mommas. The mommas who have sent their own children and maybe even some grandchildren out into the world. We know that this new season offers a different perspective than those who are still in the trenches with littles, or teenagers, or any in between.

We are excited to share advice from some of the amazing women in our lives who we are blessed to know and be encouraged by. 

Titus 2:4-5 [The older women] can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Sitting down with a mom who has been in our shoes is often encouraging. The wisdom of hindsight and the insight that comes from time and space can be enlightening. 

I am a Recovering Perfectionist

by Melannie Cundiff

Reset and Renew With God

Reset and Renew With God

by | Jan 9, 2023 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

Have you ever had a computer you were trying to accomplish work on and it was moving sooooo slow? Like it was having to crawl through thick mud? Or worse, it completely froze and won’t do anything? I’m sure if you’ve been around computers much you have experienced this. You know the answer to this problem is to reset the computer through a restart. Maybe the window you have open isn’t showing everything it should.

Once you restart your computer or do a hard reset on a browser window, suddenly everything works as it should. I have been told that leaving the computer off for 60 seconds allows all residual power to leave the computer and works even better than the immediate restart. Sometimes my computer has required more than one restart. 

Why?

Our computers start acting like they’re crawling through mud because there is too much in their memory. Too much for it to remember on the clipboard, too many windows or programs open at once, Sometimes it’s because malware has been inadvertently downloaded.

How’s your computer functioning?

How often do you feel like you are trudging through knee-deep mud? Are you moving slowly? Or maybe completely frozen?

I’m going to be completely transparent here, I have been feeling like I am in the thick of the mud. At some points, I’m unsure which direction my next step should head in. I feel the need for a complete reset. So this is going to be my guide, and I hope by sharing it someone who reads will be encouraged in their own journey.

(I wrote this last week only for my computer to glitch and delete everything. Fortunately, I have a Mollie in my life and she stepped in and posted in place of mine. So I’ve had a week to implement the Plan of Action I came up with and it has helped tremendously! I don’t feel quite so much in the thick of the mud. It’s starting to clear smile )

Let’s reset and renew

1. Set a timer

2. Close some windows/tasks/programs

3. Do a malware scan

4. Run updates

1. Set a timer and unplug

Set a timer for 60 seconds. Spend the entire 60 seconds focused on God. Don’t tell Him what you need Him to do. Praise Him for what he’s already done.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father. James 1:17

He’s given his son that you might live. (John 3:16) You woke up this morning. Do you have a home? Food for your family? (Those dishes that never seem to be done, mean your family is eating.) Clothes for your family? (That overwhelming mountain of laundry means that you are blessed with clothes for your children to wear.)

Another way to spend the 60 seconds is to find a praise song to sing. Sometimes when we have young children it is hard to take 60 focused seconds. I get it! Maybe the answer is to find a favorite playlist or channel on a streaming service and listen with your kids. In my experience, this changes everyone’s attitude. It’s hard to fight and argue if you are singing praises to God smile We enjoy the Praise and Harmony channel on YouTube. 

You know you and your circumstances. What is the best way for you to reset your mindset? Maybe you can take 2 60 second chunks and do both.

2. Close some windows

Do you have too many tasks running? Women are known to be multitaskers; however, when we are too bogged down by all the things it is time to close some things down and get rid of the background noise. I know sometimes my brain freezes because all the tasks I need to do are just bouncing around in my head and I can’t actually accomplish anything.

For me, a To Do list is a great help. Once I get the things down on paper I free up space in my head. It also allows me to see everything at once and then I am better able to prioritize what needs to be done. Sometimes it takes two lists, one to get it out of my head, and one to put it in order.

I find checking the tasks off my list also allows me to close some windows and function a little faster and more efficiently.

Sometimes I even write down things I already did just so I can check them off. Have you ever gotten to the end of the day and felt like you did nothing? Write it down so you can remember smile For me, having some easy wins helps me to build momentum when I am really overwhelmed. So I will start with some easy tasks that I can check off.

3. Do a malware scan

Paul encourages the church at Corinth to examine themselves in 2 Corinthians 13:5. I believe we each need to do the same.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

 

We must regularly perform scans on ourselves and then self-correct. Are we walking in the faith? Have we allowed a sin (even a “small” sin) to take hold in our lives? I submit to you that all sins, even the ones we view as small have the same wage in the end.

For the wages of sin is death… Romans 6:23

There is only one fix for sin in our lives. This would be to confess them to our Lord and repent. If we are truly repentant, we are turning away from the sin and living in a new way.

If we keep reading in Romans 6:23, we are told that God offers us a free gift.

 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Do you need to know how to accept this free gift? Click here for some guidance.

As we work through the sin in our lives, I believe that God is a very powerful God, but we are a very weak people. God has given us people in our lives who will help us as we walk on His path. James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to each other. This isn’t so we can go around gossiping about how Susie’s sin is so awful. Can you believe what Jan is doing? It is so that we can pray for one another and be healed.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

4. Run updates

Sometimes the computer needs to run updates to keep working properly. How does this apply to our lives? How many times have you read an old scripture that you’ve read a zillion times only to glean something new? Continually reading the word of God will help keep us spiritually updated. Reading and spending time in quiet with God gives us a chance to hear what He wants us to hear. 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

We can renew with God every morning if we allow Him. Each day comes with challenges and temptations, but each day also greets us with new mercies from God and new blessings. Don’t forget to praise Him, because in doing so you will find renewal. You will find a renewed, refreshed mind, body and spirit that are more able to tackle the tasks at hand.

I am One Blessed Momma!

I have been blessed by God to be mom in 6 children’s lives, some of which are already adults. I do not do it perfectly. By the grace of God they are becoming some amazing people. I am so grateful for the church family and family that are in their lives and are also encouraging them to become the people God created them to be. I am so blessed by the people God has put in my life to encourage me as I walk through life to stay on His path. Especially those who encourage me in my motherhood and help me find ways to be a better mom and get through the mud. Thank you God for giving me the support I need!

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

Enjoy the little things

Enjoy the little things

by | Nov 11, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

Maybe it’s a first world problem, it almost definitely is. We have so many distractions. So many things that don’t matter in the long run. However, we spend our days and nights worrying about those things. How can we simplify and get back to the basics of little things?

1. Be Intentional

It is so easy to go through life thinking about the next thing.

We’ve gotta get here…
We gotta do this…
How are we gonna pay for…
What opportunities can we give our children?

I spent the first four years of my oldest son’s life working in a bakery. I call these years my zombie years. There is not much I remember about those years other than being tired. In 2008, just days before my son’s 4th birthday, the bakery I was working in burned down. My boss decided not to rebuild, so this meant my life was changing. The question I had to answer was how?

I found ways to work from home so I could spend more time with my son. I was living in a house, and had been for the previous 2.5 years, with 4 apple trees, a plum tree, and a lilac bush in the yard. The fragrances and beauty of the blooms were so obvious to me now. I hadn’t noticed them before. I had to walk directly under the plum tree every time I walked into the yard, yet I had never noticed them in the previous two springs/summers.

This was confirmation in my head that I had done the right thing. I had made being more present in the little things (which add up to the big things) a priority.

Be intentional, look for the little things God puts in your life. Is it the spontaneous grin from your child? Maybe it’s catching a rabbit hopping across the yard? Witnessing a hug between two children that are usually fighting? Look for these little things.

A silly grin from this kid always brightens my day. 

A beautiful sunset painted by God in a picture captured by my firstborn.

They were pretending to be musk ox huddled together to stay warm, all agreeing on something is a win!

A silly selfie with my littles.

She brought her “daughter” to church with her and sat with her arm wrapped around her and sang like a momma. 

The moon rising, another beautiful painting by God.

2. Acknowledge the little things

I find myself glossing over these little things. Don’t be like me. Tell your kids wen you find joy in them. Praise them for the kind things they do. Snap a picture with that phone in your pocket (or in your hands). I have started snapping pictures so in those moments when I’m “done” I can bring the pictures up and be reminded of the hope and joy I have. 

This is a picture from “one of those days”. I had to capture this moment of them getting along, after a day of arguing and fighting over everything.

3. Thank God in the moment

We are told to pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 takes it a step further and tells us to rejoice and be thankful in those prayers.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

When you see the little things, take time right then to thank God for blessing you with that little bit of joy. If you find it difficult to see the little things, or joy, ask God to help you. I know through prayer and intentionality you will notice more and you will find more enjoyment. (I’m talking to myself here too!)

It is far too easy to allow the distractions of this world to get in the way of our joy. Be intentional, look for those little things. Acknowledge the little things, pause and make sure you really pay attention. Snap a picture. say it out loud. Give praise to God for the little things and if you can’t see the joy in the little things, go to our loving Heavenly Father in prayer I know he will meet you where you are. 

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

Welcome to the momma club

Welcome to the momma club

by | Oct 24, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

I was recently asked for advice about having a kid. Now, whether this was an earnest ask for advice, or just their way of telling me they were going to have a kid, I’m not sure. Either way, I pulled this letter I wrote to a sweet new momma about 3 years ago when I was a little closer to the new mom feelings.

NOTE: I was a single mom for my first child’s birth, and married for the other 3. I wrote this letter to a married momma, so there may be a few things that won’t apply if you are a single momma. However, if you are a single momma, thank you for choosing life for your little one despite our current culture in this country. Thank you for doing the hard things. If you need a friend, I’m here. 

My letter to a new or expecting momma

Hello momma,

You always have questions, there are always things that it would have been nice to know before you needed to know. As you come into this new chapter in life, you will have many new experiences. I have had 4 babies and each pregnancy, delivery, recovery and baby is a little or a lot different. I have pulled together some things I hope you will find encouraging, informational, and glad you know.

This is going to be an amazing year full of roller coaster emotions. You will probably hit some all-time highs, like that first time your baby is laid on your chest. I laughed hysterically with my first, with the others I don’t really remember. I never cried like so many moms say they do. It kinda made me feel bad. You know what though? It doesn’t matter. We all have different love and emotions and God has given us this child because we need them, and they need us. You may also experience some lows. Share with someone. Call a close friend. Talk to your husband. Shoot me an email if you need someone to talk to with no judgement. I have had major lows, particularly after one of my children’s birth. The only thing that got me through was talking about it and being brutally blunt with my husband.

You may not feel like a mom immediately, it’s a new transition. I remember feeling like it was this weird extended babysitting job. Maybe you will feel like a mom immediately and will feel so bonded with this little child that you have been carrying for 9 months. Either way, it’s okay.

I’m just going to bullet point some things I wish I’d known or was so glad I knew before giving birth.

9

You will leave the hospital looking 5-6 months pregnant.

Make sure to bring some comfy stretchy pants and plan to live in them for a while.

9

Wear a diaper

There is blood, lots of gross blood with clots exiting your body. Best advice I was given, wear a diaper, that’s right, throw out the vanity and just be comfortable without having to worry about leakage. If you have a vaginal birth you may not feel what’s going on down there until it’s too late.

9

Witch Hazel

And with those diapers use witch hazel, there’s liquid, there are pads you can put inside your diaper. (Pads if you’ve forgone the previous advice 😊) Even better, put it in the diaper and then the diaper into the freezer first and you have an icepack for your tender areas.

9

You may walk funny, it's ok keep moving.

Depending on how things go, you may walk funny for a day or two or you may walk funny for a week or two, here’s hoping for the day or two. (I never experienced a c-section so I can’t speak to that recovery.)

9

So many fluids

The pee pads for puppy training also make great protection for your sheets for the first night or two, did I mention there are lots of fluids leaving your body? I know it’s gross, but it’s good info, I promise.

9

Towels

When you’re done with the pee pads, move on to towels. They are more comfortable than the pee pads when you don’t need quite as much absorption. If you’re breastfeeding, sleep with a towel under you each night. It will protect your sheets from leaking milk. I also co-sleep so it protects from spit up, and leaking diapers. and I’m telling you, as a new mom, you don’t want to be washing your bedding daily.
9

Did I mention fluids?

Sweat, you have never sweat so much in your life as you will at night as your hormones are changing, and your body is trying to get rid of all that excess fluid. But don’t worry, you already have pee pads and towels under you.
9

Speak up!

Do you need a few moments to yourself? Ask for it. Is no one around? Put the baby down and leave the room. Give yourself the grace to walk away for a few moments, and calm down so you can go back and be mom. (This comes in handy for the rest of momhood too 😉)

9

It's a challenge

New motherhood is a challenge, accept the help people offer, and ask for what you need from those around you. You don’t have to go through it alone (but people can’t read your mind, you have to share what you need).
9

Communicate

This is a new journey for you and dad, communicate! He won’t know what you need, he can’t read your mind. Tell him. The biggest cause of disappointment in marriage is unmet expectations. Half the time those unmet expectations are unknown expectations.

9

Clean yourself

Dad, it’s a lot easier to love a clean woman. And it’s a lot easier to love as a clean woman. Help your wife out, take the baby for long enough for her to shower. By herself. It’s amazing what a shower and 10 minutes alone can do for a person. Brush your teeth. 

9

Dad's world is changing too

I know dads sometimes struggle because they are suddenly not first on their wives lists. (This may depend on how long you have been married 🙂 ) Dad will also have new needs, check in with him. Dad, communicate your needs as they arise. Work together to find your new balance. (Maybe don’t take my husband’s advice and make sure she knows your back hurts a little during labor, but you’re okay. In other words, be mindful of all everyone is going through and know that not every need can be met.)

9

Amazing - exhausting - challenging - rewarding

Being a parent is the most amazing, rewarding, exhausting, challenging journey you will go on. It can tear you apart or bring you together. You have to be intentional!

I hope this hasn’t scared the tar out of you and you aren’t like what have I done to myself. I promise you, all this gross stuff is only a fraction of what you experience. Because when you hold that sweet baby in your arms and smell its sweet head, you know it is all so worth it.

Sleep when your baby sleeps. Seriously, go sleep. Sleep deprived momma’s make for harder days, harder relationships, harder emotions. You will receive so much conflicting advice about the best way to care for your child, my best advice, take it in, and then LISTEN to your GUT. Pray about it. God has given you this child and he didn’t desert either of you upon delivery. He will guide you, trust Him and the instincts He’s given you. Then discard the advice that doesn’t work for you and move on 😊

Whether you sleep with your child, put them in a crib, let them cry it out, comfort them immediately, breast feed, bottle feed, vaccinate, don’t vaccinate make sure it is all done in love. You are the only momma that baby gets, take care of you so you can take care of baby. Research, learn, and then pray, and pray some more, and pray some more.

When people give you advice about parenting, remember it comes from a loving place. They want to help. But as any person with exposure to more than one child can tell you, no child is the same. No parent is the same. Your parenting is not going to look like mine. It won’t look like your best friends. It won’t even look like your mom’s (ok maybe a little because she was your first teacher, but hey you turned out alright 😉).

There are milestones your child will reach this year. This year is so full of growth and change and milestones to reach. As I just said, every child is different, your baby may reach those milestones early, or maybe a little slower, don’t panic. It’s ok if it’s slower. It’s ok if it’s faster, but don’t go bragging to other mom’s and send them into a panic, ok? 😊 Remember to listen to that gut. If you really feel like there is an issue, bring it up to the doctor, advocate for your baby. But sometimes us moms are just worriers and there is NOTHING wrong, so be able to accept that too, and keep watching as this little bundle amazes you with their daily changes.

Welcome to the momma club!

Love,

Melinda

What’s your advice?

What is the best advice you received as a new momma? What advice do you wish you had before that baby came into the world? Please share in the comments below.

I am one blessed momma!

Having a community of mommas surrounding me, offering advice or just a listening ear makes me blessed! Thank you for being a part of this community!

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Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

I am One Blessed Momma, are you?

I am One Blessed Momma, are you?

by | Oct 3, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

I am One Blessed Momma! Let’s break that down. What is a momma? It is an affectionate term for one’s mother. It implies affection, closeness, and respect. A woman caregiver of children. There are various ways we become mommas. Each way has some struggle and possibly some heartache, but is full of blessings.
What does it mean to be blessed? For me, this sentiment began with Psalm 127:3-5.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭127:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

To be blessed is to be endowed with divine favor and protection. As we enter the fall months we will see thankful, grateful, blessed signs everywhere we go. You can’t avoid the gratitude attitude this time of year. I believe this is a good thing. When we talk about our blessings we are paying attention to them. Saying them out loud or writing them down connects them in our brain a little differently. If we are focused on the blessings the struggles have a way of fading in the background. They don’t go away, but our perspectives shift.

Blessed memories

If you are on Facebook, you are familiar with the memories that pop up. On this day 5 years ago… I find it fun to view these. Some things I even posted just so I could see them in a year or two or ten. On my 5th and 6th child’s 1st and 3rd birthday, #5 drew all over my bald baby girl’s head as well as himself. I was NOT a happy momma! BUT I knew I would laugh about it later, and each year when it comes back up I laugh a little harder.

#iamoneblessedmomma

#1 My 21-year-old has taken on the task of teaching K-1st graders Bible class. Knowing he is willing and seen as someone to ask is a huge blessing! #2 I spent quite a bit of time with my 18-year-old this past weekend. He’s the one who first made me momma and we spent lots of 1 on 1 time in the first 10 years of his life(before he had siblings living with us full time). As he becomes an adult with an adult job I have seen less of him. Having him tag along as I ran errands Friday and Saturday was a huge blessing.
#3 I have been blessed to have my 17-year-old share some deeper conversations with me. I am so grateful she is trusting me. I also was able to altar a dress for her to wear for homecoming. I am truly blessed. #4 My sweet 9-year-old has started getting all of us to get her each night for a bedtime story. The best part is his choice of reading material is the Bible. This has also encouraged the 7-year old to read with him.
#5 My 7-year-old has recently learned to ride his bike with no training wheels. The joy he has when he rides is contagious! It’s such a blessing to be able to watch my kids learn new things. #6 My 5-year-old says she has 2 love tanks. She certainly is a great hugger and makes so many feel special. Yesterday as we sat in worship during the prayer for communion, she starts talking. Before I can shhh her she says “mom, I just want to hug Jesus so bad.” Doesn’t that just melt your heart?

How are you One Blessed Momma?

I am One Blessed Momma! I would love if each person reading this would share in the comments below or on social media what makes you one blessed momma? Use #iamoneblessedmomma as you post the moments or happenings that remind you how blessed you are. I will send a One Blessed Momma shirt to the momma who shares the most this week by October 7, 2022 at 11:59 pm Eastern.

Why should you share?

  1. It changes your perspective for the better. If you are focused on your blessings, you find more joy in life. If you are more joyful, it is easier to build up your home.
    “The wisest of women builds her house…” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬
  2. The more you call the blessings out, the more blessings you will see.
  3. Encourage others. Seeing how you feel blessed by your children may help others to SEE their own blessings. 
  4. If you share on Facebook, it will remind you next year of these sweet blessings. 
  5. If you use #iamoneblessedmomma to tag your moments and you share the most this week, I will send you a free One Blessed Momma shirt. 

I am Blessed!

I am looking forward to seeing how each of you are One Blessed Momma!

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family