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Enjoy the little things

Enjoy the little things

by | Nov 11, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

Maybe it’s a first world problem, it almost definitely is. We have so many distractions. So many things that don’t matter in the long run. However, we spend our days and nights worrying about those things. How can we simplify and get back to the basics of little things?

1. Be Intentional

It is so easy to go through life thinking about the next thing.

We’ve gotta get here…
We gotta do this…
How are we gonna pay for…
What opportunities can we give our children?

I spent the first four years of my oldest son’s life working in a bakery. I call these years my zombie years. There is not much I remember about those years other than being tired. In 2008, just days before my son’s 4th birthday, the bakery I was working in burned down. My boss decided not to rebuild, so this meant my life was changing. The question I had to answer was how?

I found ways to work from home so I could spend more time with my son. I was living in a house, and had been for the previous 2.5 years, with 4 apple trees, a plum tree, and a lilac bush in the yard. The fragrances and beauty of the blooms were so obvious to me now. I hadn’t noticed them before. I had to walk directly under the plum tree every time I walked into the yard, yet I had never noticed them in the previous two springs/summers.

This was confirmation in my head that I had done the right thing. I had made being more present in the little things (which add up to the big things) a priority.

Be intentional, look for the little things God puts in your life. Is it the spontaneous grin from your child? Maybe it’s catching a rabbit hopping across the yard? Witnessing a hug between two children that are usually fighting? Look for these little things.

A silly grin from this kid always brightens my day. 

A beautiful sunset painted by God in a picture captured by my firstborn.

They were pretending to be musk ox huddled together to stay warm, all agreeing on something is a win!

A silly selfie with my littles.

She brought her “daughter” to church with her and sat with her arm wrapped around her and sang like a momma. 

The moon rising, another beautiful painting by God.

2. Acknowledge the little things

I find myself glossing over these little things. Don’t be like me. Tell your kids wen you find joy in them. Praise them for the kind things they do. Snap a picture with that phone in your pocket (or in your hands). I have started snapping pictures so in those moments when I’m “done” I can bring the pictures up and be reminded of the hope and joy I have. 

This is a picture from “one of those days”. I had to capture this moment of them getting along, after a day of arguing and fighting over everything.

3. Thank God in the moment

We are told to pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 takes it a step further and tells us to rejoice and be thankful in those prayers.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

When you see the little things, take time right then to thank God for blessing you with that little bit of joy. If you find it difficult to see the little things, or joy, ask God to help you. I know through prayer and intentionality you will notice more and you will find more enjoyment. (I’m talking to myself here too!)

It is far too easy to allow the distractions of this world to get in the way of our joy. Be intentional, look for those little things. Acknowledge the little things, pause and make sure you really pay attention. Snap a picture. say it out loud. Give praise to God for the little things and if you can’t see the joy in the little things, go to our loving Heavenly Father in prayer I know he will meet you where you are. 

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

Welcome to the momma club

Welcome to the momma club

by | Oct 24, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

I was recently asked for advice about having a kid. Now, whether this was an earnest ask for advice, or just their way of telling me they were going to have a kid, I’m not sure. Either way, I pulled this letter I wrote to a sweet new momma about 3 years ago when I was a little closer to the new mom feelings.

NOTE: I was a single mom for my first child’s birth, and married for the other 3. I wrote this letter to a married momma, so there may be a few things that won’t apply if you are a single momma. However, if you are a single momma, thank you for choosing life for your little one despite our current culture in this country. Thank you for doing the hard things. If you need a friend, I’m here. 

My letter to a new or expecting momma

Hello momma,

You always have questions, there are always things that it would have been nice to know before you needed to know. As you come into this new chapter in life, you will have many new experiences. I have had 4 babies and each pregnancy, delivery, recovery and baby is a little or a lot different. I have pulled together some things I hope you will find encouraging, informational, and glad you know.

This is going to be an amazing year full of roller coaster emotions. You will probably hit some all-time highs, like that first time your baby is laid on your chest. I laughed hysterically with my first, with the others I don’t really remember. I never cried like so many moms say they do. It kinda made me feel bad. You know what though? It doesn’t matter. We all have different love and emotions and God has given us this child because we need them, and they need us. You may also experience some lows. Share with someone. Call a close friend. Talk to your husband. Shoot me an email if you need someone to talk to with no judgement. I have had major lows, particularly after one of my children’s birth. The only thing that got me through was talking about it and being brutally blunt with my husband.

You may not feel like a mom immediately, it’s a new transition. I remember feeling like it was this weird extended babysitting job. Maybe you will feel like a mom immediately and will feel so bonded with this little child that you have been carrying for 9 months. Either way, it’s okay.

I’m just going to bullet point some things I wish I’d known or was so glad I knew before giving birth.

9

You will leave the hospital looking 5-6 months pregnant.

Make sure to bring some comfy stretchy pants and plan to live in them for a while.

9

Wear a diaper

There is blood, lots of gross blood with clots exiting your body. Best advice I was given, wear a diaper, that’s right, throw out the vanity and just be comfortable without having to worry about leakage. If you have a vaginal birth you may not feel what’s going on down there until it’s too late.

9

Witch Hazel

And with those diapers use witch hazel, there’s liquid, there are pads you can put inside your diaper. (Pads if you’ve forgone the previous advice 😊) Even better, put it in the diaper and then the diaper into the freezer first and you have an icepack for your tender areas.

9

You may walk funny, it's ok keep moving.

Depending on how things go, you may walk funny for a day or two or you may walk funny for a week or two, here’s hoping for the day or two. (I never experienced a c-section so I can’t speak to that recovery.)

9

So many fluids

The pee pads for puppy training also make great protection for your sheets for the first night or two, did I mention there are lots of fluids leaving your body? I know it’s gross, but it’s good info, I promise.

9

Towels

When you’re done with the pee pads, move on to towels. They are more comfortable than the pee pads when you don’t need quite as much absorption. If you’re breastfeeding, sleep with a towel under you each night. It will protect your sheets from leaking milk. I also co-sleep so it protects from spit up, and leaking diapers. and I’m telling you, as a new mom, you don’t want to be washing your bedding daily.
9

Did I mention fluids?

Sweat, you have never sweat so much in your life as you will at night as your hormones are changing, and your body is trying to get rid of all that excess fluid. But don’t worry, you already have pee pads and towels under you.
9

Speak up!

Do you need a few moments to yourself? Ask for it. Is no one around? Put the baby down and leave the room. Give yourself the grace to walk away for a few moments, and calm down so you can go back and be mom. (This comes in handy for the rest of momhood too 😉)

9

It's a challenge

New motherhood is a challenge, accept the help people offer, and ask for what you need from those around you. You don’t have to go through it alone (but people can’t read your mind, you have to share what you need).
9

Communicate

This is a new journey for you and dad, communicate! He won’t know what you need, he can’t read your mind. Tell him. The biggest cause of disappointment in marriage is unmet expectations. Half the time those unmet expectations are unknown expectations.

9

Clean yourself

Dad, it’s a lot easier to love a clean woman. And it’s a lot easier to love as a clean woman. Help your wife out, take the baby for long enough for her to shower. By herself. It’s amazing what a shower and 10 minutes alone can do for a person. Brush your teeth. 

9

Dad's world is changing too

I know dads sometimes struggle because they are suddenly not first on their wives lists. (This may depend on how long you have been married 🙂 ) Dad will also have new needs, check in with him. Dad, communicate your needs as they arise. Work together to find your new balance. (Maybe don’t take my husband’s advice and make sure she knows your back hurts a little during labor, but you’re okay. In other words, be mindful of all everyone is going through and know that not every need can be met.)

9

Amazing - exhausting - challenging - rewarding

Being a parent is the most amazing, rewarding, exhausting, challenging journey you will go on. It can tear you apart or bring you together. You have to be intentional!

I hope this hasn’t scared the tar out of you and you aren’t like what have I done to myself. I promise you, all this gross stuff is only a fraction of what you experience. Because when you hold that sweet baby in your arms and smell its sweet head, you know it is all so worth it.

Sleep when your baby sleeps. Seriously, go sleep. Sleep deprived momma’s make for harder days, harder relationships, harder emotions. You will receive so much conflicting advice about the best way to care for your child, my best advice, take it in, and then LISTEN to your GUT. Pray about it. God has given you this child and he didn’t desert either of you upon delivery. He will guide you, trust Him and the instincts He’s given you. Then discard the advice that doesn’t work for you and move on 😊

Whether you sleep with your child, put them in a crib, let them cry it out, comfort them immediately, breast feed, bottle feed, vaccinate, don’t vaccinate make sure it is all done in love. You are the only momma that baby gets, take care of you so you can take care of baby. Research, learn, and then pray, and pray some more, and pray some more.

When people give you advice about parenting, remember it comes from a loving place. They want to help. But as any person with exposure to more than one child can tell you, no child is the same. No parent is the same. Your parenting is not going to look like mine. It won’t look like your best friends. It won’t even look like your mom’s (ok maybe a little because she was your first teacher, but hey you turned out alright 😉).

There are milestones your child will reach this year. This year is so full of growth and change and milestones to reach. As I just said, every child is different, your baby may reach those milestones early, or maybe a little slower, don’t panic. It’s ok if it’s slower. It’s ok if it’s faster, but don’t go bragging to other mom’s and send them into a panic, ok? 😊 Remember to listen to that gut. If you really feel like there is an issue, bring it up to the doctor, advocate for your baby. But sometimes us moms are just worriers and there is NOTHING wrong, so be able to accept that too, and keep watching as this little bundle amazes you with their daily changes.

Welcome to the momma club!

Love,

Melinda

What’s your advice?

What is the best advice you received as a new momma? What advice do you wish you had before that baby came into the world? Please share in the comments below.

I am one blessed momma!

Having a community of mommas surrounding me, offering advice or just a listening ear makes me blessed! Thank you for being a part of this community!

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Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

I am One Blessed Momma, are you?

I am One Blessed Momma, are you?

by | Oct 3, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

I am One Blessed Momma! Let’s break that down. What is a momma? It is an affectionate term for one’s mother. It implies affection, closeness, and respect. A woman caregiver of children. There are various ways we become mommas. Each way has some struggle and possibly some heartache, but is full of blessings.
What does it mean to be blessed? For me, this sentiment began with Psalm 127:3-5.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭127:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

To be blessed is to be endowed with divine favor and protection. As we enter the fall months we will see thankful, grateful, blessed signs everywhere we go. You can’t avoid the gratitude attitude this time of year. I believe this is a good thing. When we talk about our blessings we are paying attention to them. Saying them out loud or writing them down connects them in our brain a little differently. If we are focused on the blessings the struggles have a way of fading in the background. They don’t go away, but our perspectives shift.

Blessed memories

If you are on Facebook, you are familiar with the memories that pop up. On this day 5 years ago… I find it fun to view these. Some things I even posted just so I could see them in a year or two or ten. On my 5th and 6th child’s 1st and 3rd birthday, #5 drew all over my bald baby girl’s head as well as himself. I was NOT a happy momma! BUT I knew I would laugh about it later, and each year when it comes back up I laugh a little harder.

#iamoneblessedmomma

#1 My 21-year-old has taken on the task of teaching K-1st graders Bible class. Knowing he is willing and seen as someone to ask is a huge blessing! #2 I spent quite a bit of time with my 18-year-old this past weekend. He’s the one who first made me momma and we spent lots of 1 on 1 time in the first 10 years of his life(before he had siblings living with us full time). As he becomes an adult with an adult job I have seen less of him. Having him tag along as I ran errands Friday and Saturday was a huge blessing.
#3 I have been blessed to have my 17-year-old share some deeper conversations with me. I am so grateful she is trusting me. I also was able to altar a dress for her to wear for homecoming. I am truly blessed. #4 My sweet 9-year-old has started getting all of us to get her each night for a bedtime story. The best part is his choice of reading material is the Bible. This has also encouraged the 7-year old to read with him.
#5 My 7-year-old has recently learned to ride his bike with no training wheels. The joy he has when he rides is contagious! It’s such a blessing to be able to watch my kids learn new things. #6 My 5-year-old says she has 2 love tanks. She certainly is a great hugger and makes so many feel special. Yesterday as we sat in worship during the prayer for communion, she starts talking. Before I can shhh her she says “mom, I just want to hug Jesus so bad.” Doesn’t that just melt your heart?

How are you One Blessed Momma?

I am One Blessed Momma! I would love if each person reading this would share in the comments below or on social media what makes you one blessed momma? Use #iamoneblessedmomma as you post the moments or happenings that remind you how blessed you are. I will send a One Blessed Momma shirt to the momma who shares the most this week by October 7, 2022 at 11:59 pm Eastern.

Why should you share?

  1. It changes your perspective for the better. If you are focused on your blessings, you find more joy in life. If you are more joyful, it is easier to build up your home.
    “The wisest of women builds her house…” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬
  2. The more you call the blessings out, the more blessings you will see.
  3. Encourage others. Seeing how you feel blessed by your children may help others to SEE their own blessings. 
  4. If you share on Facebook, it will remind you next year of these sweet blessings. 
  5. If you use #iamoneblessedmomma to tag your moments and you share the most this week, I will send you a free One Blessed Momma shirt. 

I am Blessed!

I am looking forward to seeing how each of you are One Blessed Momma!

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family
Let’s Connect

Let’s Connect

by | Sep 6, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

In a world where we are constantly “connected” to everyone all the time, we are beginning to see we aren’t really connected to very many of those people.
 

Where are the meaningful connections?

I love Sundays because they are full of connections. Recently I was blessed by much-needed connection with a fellow mom. Sometimes connecting with moms of older children is just the wisdom and encouragement we need to keep encouraging our own children. Sometimes this momma journey is full of joys and sometimes it is full of struggles. Most of the time it is a little of both, but connecting with other mommas helps us keep moving forward and makes it a little easier to be who our children need us to be. This particular conversation reminded me I’m not the only momma dealing with a particular situation and gave me some resources for handling it.

Real Connections

We attend a very friendly church and I never seem to be able to connect to everyone I’d like. One thing I appreciated through the pandemic was a closer connection with the people we attended “home” church with. It’s something I am struggling to bring into “regular” church with me. There are so many more people to connect with.

It’s so easy to slip back into the:
“How are you?”
“Good, how are you?”
“Good. Have a good week.”
“You too.”
And move on to the next person.

However, it’s in those deeper connections that we can follow God’s instructions through Paul’s writings in

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

It’s difficult to encourage someone and build them up if you don’t know what’s going on in their life. A weekly “good” doesn’t cover it!

Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Sunday I was blessed to hug a few necks, and have a few meaningful conversations. I know I left feeling encouraged and built up. Next, we went to lunch with a family we shared “home” church with. We’ve been missing the fellowship we had shared and our kids were missing the playtime they became used to.

I am convinced we need to teach our children to be encouragers and build others up, especially those outside of their circles. I keep being reminded that we need to not make assumptions about others, and just how easy that is to do. Did that person really mean to ignore you? Or are they bogged down with “life” and could use a friend (maybe you) to really be present for them and listen to what is going on in their life.

Don’t make assumptions about how people feel about you or think about you. So many times it is our own insecurities or our own inflated ego that has us thinking nobody likes us or everybody likes us 🙂 Don’t make assumptions, have conversations!

Be an encourager

Here are a few ways to encourage others:

  • Look for the good deeds/actions another person does, and then let them know you noticed.
  • Listen to what someone is sharing with you. Really listen (it’ll help with the other suggestions below). Remember to follow up with them too.
  • Offer scripture references that apply. I have a friend I always reach out to when I’m struggling with something because I can count on her to not only direct me back to scripture but offer at least one verse as a starting point too.
  • Offer to pray with and for them. It may be a little awkward if you aren’t used to praying with a friend, but I can tell you it is an amazing way to build someone up!
  • Cry with them, laugh with them…
  • Be present, don’t look at your phone, don’t be thinking about your “To Do” list, or lunch, just listen so that you are able to do the things above. (I’ve just realized this is very much like #2, maybe that means I really need to hear it, I’ll leave it here in case you need to hear it twice too.)

Practice, practice, practice…

The more we do these things the easier and more second nature it will become. Encouraging does not come easily to me. I am too much of a negative nelly introvert. I thank God for his grace, mercy, and patience!

Invite people to your home, share a cup of coffee, or tea, or a meal, and really get to know them. It is in these deeper connections that we can encourage others, and help ourselves grow. And, just like everything else in life, modeling it for our kids is the best way to teach them and hold ourselves accountable.

In what ways have you beeen encouraged?
How has someone built you up?
What are some of your favorite ways to encourage someone else?
Do you have an “encourager” role model?

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family

God’s timing is always perfect…

God’s timing is always perfect…

by | Aug 3, 2022 | Melinda, One Blessed Momma

9 years ago we were going through many life transitions. We were awaiting a decision from a custody hearing. We were working on a house so that we could get moved (hoping to get moved in before the school year began). I was 41 weeks pregnant eagerly awaiting the birth of my baby. SO many changes happening!

On August 1, 2013, we found out the custody hearing outcome we were praying and hoping for didn’t happen. I was 40 weeks + 4 days pregnant. Things were not going as fast at the house as we needed them to. Moving in before school was not looking promising. I was feeling quite stressed and defeated. I turned to Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.

I posted this verse on Facebook that evening, and I am grateful because now I get a yearly reminder, trust God. My job is to trust and submit to him. The rest he’ll take care of.

The next day, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. That boy has turned into an amazing, sensitive, God-loving young man. I am so proud of him. It was perfect timing. We got school shopping done August 1. All of our kids were in the house when I went into labor and they woke up to a new baby brother to cuddle.

What about the house?

Well, the house was not finished before school started that year. We didn’t move in until Thanksgiving. Each morning I would drive over to the house with my school-age child and put him on the bus from the house so he would have consistency. It wasn’t our plan, but we kept trusting God would take care of the details and it all worked out fine. We are still working on that house. The joys of living with a contractor wink

Here’s me helping work on the house. HAHA with a newborn baby you sleep when you can, where you can!

And the custody?

The custody hearing is a little trickier. Even 9 years later, I struggle to see how the outcome was what was needed. I know that people are full of flaws and we all have free will, and I am never sure how much all of that plays into the things that happen. One thing I am sure of is that Romans 8:28 assures us

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

Some days I have to remind myself, the ultimate good is for those kids to be saved. They have both put on Christ in baptism. The 21-yr-old is active in the congregation close to his base (he’s in the Air Force) and the 17-yr-old is growing in her walk with Christ as well. It is a pleasure to watch as their (step) parent. I love these kids and I am grateful for the part I get to play in their lives!

Now, this week, this day, I am back to reminding myself about trusting God and resting in the peace that can only come from Him. It is a lesson I find myself needing to learn over, and over, and over, and I’ll let you know when it sticks…

Timing, timing, timing

The lady who raised my husband, his momma. The lady who came to my home and cleaned and cooked and gave our first baby his first bath, passed away in March. She was a lovely, strong woman! We live in PA and she lived in NM. It has taken time to be able to get there to celebrate her graduation into the next life. We were supposed to leave Saturday (5 days ago) to head to NM so that we could celebrate Ruth Ashley. Unfortunately, we have had 2 cars that aren’t working properly and everything we’ve done has not fixed them. So we are still sitting here.

Yesterday, I received a phone call that my Pappy (grandpa) passed away in the night. We have been expecting this phone call since February. My Pappy lived in CO so we will be heading back there for his funeral. Timing…

We were still sitting trying to figure out vehicle problems. My husband got a phone call from a customer, “Can you come take a look at….” He told them no, and told them why. They said, “Come take one of my trucks. I’ll look at your vehicle while you’re gone.” They own a diesel shop, our vehicle isn’t diesel, but diesel is always cheaper and you can get derv delivery to any location so is easier. Timing… So today we will head to NM, it’s about the last day we can leave and make sure we get to NM in time for the services for his mom. (In case you’re looking at the timing, remember we’re travelling with 4 children.)

There are so many more examples in my life of when I thought things should happen a certain way, and they didn’t. I generally can look back and see how God worked it out for us. Sometimes I can’t see what he was/is doing. However, I can trust that God is taking care of us.

In the end, the only thing that matters is that we are following God. We are teaching our children to follow Him. He doesn’t tell us this life will be free of troubles. In fact, he tells us it will be full of trouble, but He doesn’t leave us alone to muddle through them. He is always there walking through it with us.

One lesson that my Pappy taught me and it has stuck with me is that prayer time is not just us talking to God. We have to take the time to be still and listen for how God is directing us. I told him I was praying about my future husband. He wanted to make sure I was taking the time to hear God’s direction. Here Pappy was giving us more advice at our wedding. (Fun fact: my pappy and grandma came out to PA to meet my husband (to-be) before I met him. We had been talking on the phone after meeting on eHarmony and I wanted to come out to PA to meet him in person. My grandparents were coming out to see pappy’s family and so it was arranged for them to meet. Pappy came back approving of the guy and told me that now it was up to Chad and I to see if there was any chemistry there 🙂 2 months later we were married.)

I am Blessed!

I am one blessed daughter-in-law, I am one blessed granddaughter and I am one blessed Momma! May you see how God is working in your life, and place all your trust in Him.

Meet Melinda!

Melinda is a Christian, a wife, and a mom of 6. She has a blended family and has spent much time trying to learn how to "mom". She's still not perfect, but it makes her that much more grateful for God's grace and mercy in her life.

Learn more about Melinda and her family